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Have I tried enough?

Posted by
on Nov 3 2014 at 21:53
Member since: 03 November 2014
Relationship advice Hi.

I've been married 2 years now.... Oh man, where do I start... Last Christmas, I surprise flew my husbands

best friend out to see my husband. During that time I had secretly talked to his friend to

set up dates for him to come here and what not.. Shortly after his friend departed, his friend told him that I was trying

to cheat with him. Why would I cheat on my husband with his best friend? Anyway, my husband

believed him and didn't even tell me until days later... My husband told his buddy "Oh man, she shouldn't

do that. How messed up of her" When I found out, it truly broke my heart but we worked through it... Then

around 8 months ago, my husband stopped flirting with me and stopped

showing any interest in me... I tried everything from "sexy" pictures to changing my outfits/hair/makeup...

Nothing worked... I tried talking to him and about it and he denied he had stopped, but whatever..

He left for two weeks on work on a business training and during that time, I enjoyed my alone time, and my own bed. (My husband

liked to push me off the bed during the night. I couldn't sleep and would cry from being exhausted.)

While he was gone, he was interested in talking 24/7. He thought I was cheating and I wasn't. When he got back, I

asked for separate beds. He was upset but we did it. Then he was interested in sleeping in the same bed with me. He

wouldn't leave me alone in that aspect.. still no intimacy. From being annoyed with him, we would fight. It got so

bad he kicked me out of "his house". I wasn't going to be bullied out of my house so I didn't leave.. about 20

minutes later he "took it back", and said he didn't mean it. Since then I have been scared to start a family with him.

If he was comfortable saying it then why wouldn't he in the future? He has a past of not following through. I opened

my first business last year and he told me he'd help me financially and hasn't ever. I'd love to have a family, but

I cant trust him. I feel like we are pretty good friends, but I can't take our relationship to the next level.. Honestly, I

have thought about leaving and we've discussed it. He doesn't seem super upset about it. And I've caught him talking to

other women without mentioning it. I feel like I've tried but I don't know if I have done EVERYTHING?

Have I tried enough?
Reply from
on Nov 4 2014 at 00:02
Member since: 03 November 2014
I have been married for 25 years and the worst thing is when there is no trust in the relationship. My husband cheated on me not once, but at least twice and I'm still with him....stupid, yes! I should have left him the first time but my children were very little and I had no place to go and no money. So I stupidly stayed. It only got worse from there. He squandered all of our equity and now we are in debt up to our eyeballs. We are not intimate, because he hurts me, pinches me and other things which pushes me away from him.

My advice to you (and who am I for giving advice), but based on my experience since you don't have children yet I assume you're young, I think that you should at least get a separation and take time for yourselves. You need to heal yourself first, before you can heal your relationship, if that's what you want. Don't end up unhappy like me, because when you get to my age (60) you look back and wonder why you didn't do things differently. Remember, we accept the love we think we deserve. Don't sell yourself short. Good luck! I hope you get what you want.

Have I tried enough?
Reply from
on Nov 9 2014 at 00:17
Member since: 08 November 2014
I agree with Smitten53. Take some time out, talk it over with him. And, if it doesn't work out, I get the impression you're a charming young lady who would find it easy to find someone else. Good luck!

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