Confused and in love
I have been in an unhappy marriage for over 20 years. I have grown children, and my husband is really mean to me. He constantly criticizes me, puts me down and isn't considerate of my needs. I feel trapped because I have no where to go. I recently met a man who took my breath away the first time I saw him. I felt an immediate connection to him and we frequently go to his establishment. Every time we went there he would rush over and kiss my hands and put his arm around me and kiss me on my cheeks. Whenever I look into his eyes I melt, and I do see a reflection of myself. He is not married, and I'm not really sure of his sexual orientation. I just know that I constantly think about him and I get butterflies in my stomach, just like a teenager. I realize that he may just be flirting, and I flirt back, which is very noticeable. Every time my husband goes to the restroom, this man rushes over to me and holds my hand and puts his arm around me. I am very flattered, but I don't feel that I'm attractive enough for him. He's very handsome, and in my younger years I was a very beautiful woman, but now that I'm almost retirement age, gravity and age has taken over. This man makes me feel beautiful and desirable, something I don't get at home. I want so much to tell him how I feel but I don't want to ruin the relationship we already have. Yet, we constantly look at each other and I think we both know that there is something there.
Have you thought that he might feel sorry for you, knows about or understands your unhappiness with your marriage, and is just comforting you?
Dear, keep your crush to yourself. This young man is not the answer.
Why do you stay in this marriage? Is it because of finances? See a lawyer and find out what you are entitled to if you should separate or divorce.
First off he is not a young man. He is the same age as me. And second he has no idea about my personal life or my problems since we only know each other professionally. Third, he definitely does not feel sorry for me because I am alway smiling and happy when he sees me. I think he's just as taken with me as I am with him but I would never act on it. I just think that it's important to let people know how you feel about them because you may never get another chance.
I think you should tell your husband that your unhappy and extremely worried. If he carries on, tell him again and say you'll give him one more chance. If he still does it, it might be a good idea to divorce him.
If it does get to out of hand, and you divorce him, you could keep your job or get another, and maybe see if you can have a better life with this other young man. And, if you ask your husband, he might give you some money. I hope everything turns out alright for you! Good luck!