Man pulling away

Posted by
on Nov 7 2014 at 06:13
Member since: 07 November 2014
Relationship advice forum category advice forum category Dating this guy for a month. Going great. Text every morning and evening. Saw each other every Wed and One day of the weekend. I went away this for a weekend. When I came back he was distant. Did not hear from him for a week. Gave him his distance because I thought he needed it. Texted him today regarding tickets we purchased a couple of weeks ago for a show tomorrow. He said he would like to go if I was good with it. I was not sure what he meant so I just said great. He called to set up plans. Cold and distant. Nothing like before. I think he meet someone.
Reply from
SOULMATE (moderator)
on Nov 7 2014 at 11:09
Member since: 19 August 2014
Yes, I agree it sounds like he has, and that he's looking after his own selfish interests by wanting to keep you warm on the side in case she and he don't take off, with you supposedly totally unaware another woman is in the picture.

It's typical of men of a certain young age or those that cruise on the dating websites.

I wouldn't reward him for his cessation of proper attention like that because he doesn't deserve it. I'd make some excuse and take a friend instead.

If, however, its too late for that, then go by all means, but be chilled and cooler/more distant yourself, thereby leaving it to HIM and his efforts to try to get you acting keener (if that's what he still wants).

Reply from
on Nov 7 2014 at 13:42
Member since: 27 December 2013
Just a thought: Maybe he's is punishing you for leaving for a weekend. Do you know how he felt about you going away?

Sounds like you and he can start over this show date. Time to find out more about a guy who may be overly sensitive about what you do.

Reply from
SOULMATE (moderator)
on Nov 8 2014 at 18:21
Member since: 19 August 2014
That occurred to me, too, Susie, but I dismissed it over fact the guy wasn't *DOING* "going great", by which I mean...When a guy's really properly into you, he tends to want to hear your voice every day - particularly just before beddybyes time or around the 8-9pm time as proves whether or not you're out on the town, vulnerable to other men on the prowl, so actually PHONES, not piddly-texts. I suspect the two days per week bit was down to the fact they'd 'avashag' each time (and it's this origin of keenness that's had her convinced things were going great) - meaning, his round objects couldn't even last out the weekend, hence summoning (no doubt by text :-p) one of his other warm-and-waiting-on-the-side options. But that's an assumption and, for all I know, these days texting is all the excitement these younger guys can cope with (poor dears), meaning, yes, he is into her properly and it's just he's a super-(super-)sensitive little flower.

Pretty ridiculously over-long time to take to sulk, though. Plus, 'I'd like to go if you're good with it'. It can't mean if she really wants to go because she was there inviting him, wasn't she. So it smacks to me of his hinting along the lines of, if she's okay about still meeting up with him given he's newly introduced this huge distance between them (as a replacement development).

Whichever/whatever, it'd still mean him messing about needlessly melodramatically with what should be too precious to want to jeopardise, so - not healthy or encouraging whichever way you look at it.

I guess we'll find out if/when Confused gives us an update?

Discussion closed - why not create your own thread?