My husband can be so mean. The issue is he always has an excuse for his meanness. " I didn't approach him right - I didn't do something the way he does it". He his kick to anger - a real hot head. He is never physical nor does he do anything to make me think he would. He just raises his voice and talks over me. He never listens when I talk to him.......if I tell him what is wrong, he turns it around on me. For example of a earlier conversation) honey, I feel belittled when I ask for help for something and you imply I am helpless. My husband "well...you always imply I'm not able to so things too". I walk on egg shells and I am so careful how I word things to him. I never know how he will take my feelings. I try listening to his, so he will be heard. I do not feel like he puts the same effort into me. It really hurts. It is like I am not worth his time or effort. He is super passive-aggressive too. If he isn't raising his tone at me he his cutting me down in a manipulative way - so he avoids responsibility of my perceived implications. If I tell him he is being passive aggressive - I am the one who did not understand him. He treats me like his child. The problem is he says I'm immature and act like a high schooler. I don't even understand what he means ! I guess that I have emotions and am not okay with his behavior towards me, that makes me immature. We have a child. He is a good and attentive father. I grew up in a healthy home. I never heard my parents fight and they kept adult problems private. I want to give that to my daughter but do not think that is possible in our marriage. I would rather fix the problems with my husband but I don't think he wants to put effort into it. He says he does but his actions show me otherwise. I feel like he rather be married and unhappy. I am not up for that.
it's a really haunting problem that you face.... He simply mistreats you ..and that too very badly.... Anything wrong with your relationship....he says it is your mistake....He is a good father... is your conjugal life alright?? I think it is not... You want to keep your daughter shielded from these husband-wife misunderstandings... but he is so frequent into arguments with you that it seems really difficult... What you may try is...
1. Visit a psychiatrist or counselling group and tell them clearly what is the situation.
2. Keep patience..just for your daughter..she needs both of you
3. Is it something in his work-life that irritates him a lot and he pours out all his frustration over you??
4.If he is not ready to even listen to you ... keep mum... just observe his actions..when it is extremely unbearable... it's time to take tough decisions
5.If he listens to you..then try that he does not feel like being blamed..but explain what upsets you and ask him what irritates him so much
6. Try to know... if he loves you or he feels like a burden on his shoulders ...I think he loves you... but is too self-centered....
7. And if the problem relates to your sex-life.. then it's better you go to the relevant doctor or counsellor or if you can tell me here about the issues (if any).. then let me know ... coz that is something very private to both of you...and a problem in that domain may be really a cause for these misunderstandings...