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Can Anyone Help?

Posted by
on Nov 15 2014 at 08:54
Member since: 15 November 2014
Online Dating advice Sorry for the wall of text.

I have known this girl for at least four years now we always liked each other but we never found the right time in the past, I have always been there for her even when she'd push me away because of a boyfriend or people teasing her for liking me, always making her feel better when her boyfriends would not be treating her right which was often.

We finally dated a month ago but broke up after a week because she "couldn't give me her all" because of her not being over her ex that had randomly left her five to six months ago, he completely disappeared out of her life and randomly texted her telling her that he didn't talk to her because he wanted her to move on.

He sometimes randomly texts her then ignores her without even responding although he is the one that sent the first text. (Hasn't happened in a while.) I tell her that she needs to get rid of any sort of contact with him if she wants to move on, which she does want to move on. But she literally does not get rid of anyone, just one of her weird things. (Phone numbers, Skype contacts, etc.)

When we broke up we both agreed that we would not pursue anyone else but instead we would try to make our relationship work out. (Her getting over her ex so she can treat me like she wants to treat me.)

Sometimes she says we fight too much and that we aren't compatible because we fight, but we have always be known for arguing and making up immediately over the four years we've known each other. We started to fight less when we started dating, and now we barely fight but occasionally do if one of us does something that the other strongly disapproves of and we end up making up immediately after.

I sometimes ask her if we could talk on the phone but she says that she is nervous about it, however, we have talked on the phone once but we were dating other people at the time. She says that she is nervous about talking to me because she really likes me and that she is usually nervous about talking to people she likes but she has never been as nervous as she is when it comes to me.

I understand because I am shy myself and I tell her "Well, there's no need to rush, but I'd like to talk before I visit you or you visit me.", she agrees with me because she wants to do it too and it'd make sense so that we aren't having awkward silences in person.

This Monday she decided that we should take a break from talking to each other, not so we can go after other people, but just because she felt like we fought too much since we had an argument on Sunday because she had did something that I told her I was strongly against and she even told me that I'd be mad about what she did before even telling me. (Another fight that we immediately got over.)

I reluctantly agree to the break after telling her that I will end up being distant until things are back to normal. The break was supposed to last a week but she texts me at 7PM on Friday asking me if I want to end the break early. I tell her that it is her decision because I am being distant like I told her I would be. She asks me again and I ask her why she is asking me.

She tells me that she had a dream about me, missed me, and worried about me the whole time and that she even wanted to ask me on Thursday but didn't get around to it. I was happy when she told me this but I immediately went back to being distant for some reason.

The conversation goes on and she tells me that she intended on the break making me miss her more, me being more affectionate, and me being happy when she comes back. I tell her that maybe she was the one that needed to miss me more, to be more affectionate, and to be happy that she is talking to me when she comes back.

Why does she expect me to miss her more when I tend to miss her after we don't talk for at least two or three hours passing?

Why does she expect me to be more affectionate if she has told me that I treat her like she is my world and better than anyone has?

Should she be the one missing me more, being more affectionate, treating me better than she does?

Am I doing something wrong, if so, what should I do?

(Please don't bash me by saying that I'm full of myself and etc, I know I have problems myself and I am trying to fix them.)

Thanks for any help.

Can anyone help?
Reply from
on Nov 15 2014 at 09:50
Member since: 15 November 2014
The her wanting you to miss her more was just a made up excuse it doesn't make any logical sense just looks like she genuinely wanted a break and wanted a take back after since she felt bad about it or missed you whatever it is she does care about you but it seems there MAY be some pity on her reason for dating you such as not wanting to loose you or trying to forget about her ex but finding it hard to. Start taking charge stop overthinking why or who should care more about who and just get on good terms with her and the day of making up call her and she'll have to accept after having such a big(unnecessary) bump in your relationship, start being her boyfriend and not the same person you were before agreeing to go out with each other. As for her being weird about not deleting things it's just some lame excuse for her not being 100% over her boyfriend if she absolutely wanted to break things off with him or despised him she would have deleted/blocked the number but that's not something you can force or even tell her to take off for the matter. If your relationship grows shell do this herself and on her own when the day comes just know whenever that happens then you'll "truly" be her 1#
Can anyone help?
Reply from
on Nov 15 2014 at 14:10
Member since: 27 December 2013
I'm a little confused.

Did you say she does not like to "talk" over the phone, so all this communication is done by text? All this discussion, arguing and making up are done by text?

Do you SEE her and actually take her out?

Discussion closed - why not create your own thread?