Ok i need some help about my marrige and I cant talk to my family and friend without getting judge...Me and My Husband Has been together for three years and we have a 1yr and a 4 month old.. But to get to the point...My husband wants to have a threesome... What do I do?
I want to make him happy, but having a threesome really scares me. For one thing, he has done this sort of thing before before he we was married and I haven't came anywhere near it. I also consider a threesome cheating and the idea of me having to be there while he does it kills me and sicken me a little...And in my eyes I have been so confused.. Last thing, I was very, very sheltered. Porn, strip clubs, and especially a threesome make me very, very uncomfortable. I have told him all of this and how much it really bothers me, but he seems determined to think there nothing wrong with this..But I do and Even thou he never cheated on me he has lied to me and keeps stuff from like he has talk to girls but he hasn't met up or cheated but he was flirty.. I have been 100% faithful and he will even say that but the stuff he does makes me wonder what I'm not doing right or if I cave and do this once is it giving him the OK to cheat on me.. I can't think straight I'm so stressed and worried about this And what it I do have the threesome and he enjoy her more than me.. I honestly can't think of watching the man I love have sex with someone and enjoy her more than he does me... I don't know what to do, and I am honestly really scared of what is going to happen afterward. I am never going to be able to look at him the same... He knows all this, but he still wants it. What should I do? Please help me! I am so confused and stuff
I love my husband very much and will never leave him he is an amazing father but not so much on being a husband. Please give me some insight on what to do about the situation and I'm not saying my husband a bad guy he want to do this but he wouldn't make me but I worry because he asks still and I know it something he wants but I don't..
So you want to make your husband happy.
1. If he wanted you to stab yourself in the eyeball, would you do it?
2. Can your husband not be happy without you doing something you'd really rather not do, given the choice?
3. Does your husband, equally, want to make YOU happy?
4. Did he, in his original behavioural advert, make it clear he wanted a wife who'd be up for threesomes, whether even just the once? If not - tough tittie, he should have. That way, you'd have had no nasty surprises and neither would he have had cause for any such disappointment. In fact, you'd have had all the information to which you were entitled in order to decide whether or not to tie the knot with him.
5. You only have his word for it that he's had a threesome before, anyway. It's typical for pushy types so SAY they have because then you seem more in the minority and less reasonable when you object.
Sounds like this request of his is only the tip of the disillusionments iceberg for you, anyway, doesn't it, meaning this perverse request is just a symptom of an underlying, less than normal attitude to marriage and sex on his part. Am I to presume that you didn't read his advert properly or carry out tests before you decided to go ahead and 'buy' the product - let alone read the small print?
Also sounds like what's really going on here is him seeking your compliance over his wanting to get to have sex with other women, as if that's somehow no betrayal. Well, if you don't want him to (as nor would the majority of women) then he can't, full-stop, or he's an adulterer...just not the strictly orthodox type.
You're not DOING anything wrong...except maybe *did* - marry the wrong man/wrong type of man for you. You deserve a man who's an amazing father AND HUSBAND BOTH! Every woman does. Unless she's some sort of low-life who didn't deserve anyone better...which doesn't sound like it describes you.
Here's what I advise you to do:
"No! And that's the end of it, I don't want to discuss it ever again! Are we clear?"
It's called putting your foot down thereby standing up for your RIGHTS (this case to never-ending committed exclusivity known as MARRIAGE).
You need to step back and have a good look at your husband properly. Soulmate is correct, marriage is a commitment where love and respect is a two way street.
Your husband has no respect for you or his marriage vows if he needs to get you to participate in a threesome...it's that simple.
You will never make him happy by going along with his wish because, and I'm sorry, but he's not 100% happy with you in the first place if he wants and needs to pressure you into doing something which you find (and quite rightly too) uncomfortable and sickening. You are also so correct when you state it's cheating.
Never mind about being sheltered, rather you should focus on being with a man who shares your values and standards completely and a man who totally respects his wife and the safety of her heart.