My girlfriend makes no effort for me and shows no passion
Hi ive come on hear for some advice aboit my girlfriend ,I can't ask friends as there advice always seems very biased ,I've been with my girlfriend for 2 years she's 27 and I'm 33 we lived together for almost a year until things got out of hand and we split up about 4 months ago ,the main reasons we broke up were down to her showing absolute no passion ,I don't just mean sex mean as much as a proper kiss ,she would just peck me and move away ,she also never made an effort to look nice for me ,the only time she would make an effort is if she was going out with friends (which were normally other couples )and I was never invited .i
I repeatedly spoke to her about how I was feeling which was unwanted and more of a friend who I shared a bed with and each time she had a different excuse or would cry to make me feel bad .
We got back together about 3 weeks ago after she contactede and said she realised how she treated me was wrong and as I really love her I was willing to give her another chance ,
However nothing has changed apart from the fact we see less of each other as we still live apart ,but there's no passion ,no kissing and no effort ,for instance yesterday she asked me to take her shopping for a dress yesterday as she is going to a wedding today and taking a friend as her +1 ,she had already purchased 3 dresses last week but decided they didn't make her look good enough ,I took her shopping as I would do anything for her but as a thank you she invited me around to her place for a "date night " so I went and she opened the door looking like she,d made no effort at all ,No make up and dressed like she didn't care ,the date night turned into me buying us a takeaway then her to say how she needs to sleep and I'll have to up and leave early as she needs to get herself ready for the wedding ,I realose I have probably blabbed on sorry I just hope someone can advise me ,it's driving me mad and making me feel depressed ,do I end it with her ?or am I just being selfish expecting more from her ?i need to do something soon as I don't want to drag things out .
I'm sorry, I don't have any helpful advice to give you on this.
I just wanted to say that I don't think you are being selfish, I think the way she is treating you is unacceptable and SHE is being selfish and you probably deserve better.
Does it seem like she cares to you? It sounds to me as if she wouldn't care if you broke up for good - and nobody should settle for a relationship like that.
Hi thanks for your reply ,she does say she really cares and the time we were apart was hell for her ,but from from what I can gather she spent most of it on nights out with friends ,it's good to know that someone else thinks I'm not being selfish ,
The more o think about it I do wonder if she cares So much and she knows how I feel then why do nothing about it ?
If I was doing anything toake her feel the way I do is be devestated and do anything I could to put it right ,I treat her like a princess ,maybe I'm too soft and she thinks I'll just put up with it ,I don't know what she's think but I can't carry on like this feeling unwanted
Maybe you need to tell her that. If you really feel like you have had enough then maybe you should set a time limit on it. Tell her how you're feeling and that she's got to put more effort in, and then set a date. If things have not improved by that date, leave. It sounds like you need to make her realise that you will not put up with this for ever.
Isn't the whole point of romantic relationships to make you happy?
I think your right no point in a relationship if I'm constantly to change things to maker happy ,I guess I'm a way I just wanted reassurance that I wasn't expecting too much nor being selfish ,
I have told her many times I'm not happy because of these issues and these are primarily the cause of our break up last time ,
I think its just a sad case of me loving her more than she loves me otherwise she would be different I suppose ,I just need to admit it's time to give up ,
Thank you for your advice and reassurance
Hi everyone I'm the selfish girlfriend and most of this story is lies. So don't feel too bad for him
He didn't take me shopping. I was going and asked if he wanted to come. .no one forced him. We also shopped for him and he bought things while we were out and I didn't. He then asked to spend the evening with me and offered to buy a take away as he really wanted a curry. I offered to pay half several times and he said no. The reason I made very little effort (he also turned up in the same clothes as the daytime) is because he had had me awake all night crying the night before as he didn't speak to me all day in a mood and then went on a night out with no contact. Then over the phone told me he will do what he want (I won't say what he meant as it's bad) and he doesn't have to explain himself to me. All the while I am concerned I am pregnant with his child. And people stop getting relationship advice off a website ! These people don't know u to offer real advice
Hahaha this is absolutely too funny to not post something.
I can almost see you two fighting when he was quoting the replies he got from this thread.
My ex was just as narcissistic. I believe that she would also have searched the Internet and replied to this thread just to make sure she couldn't be thought of poorly by complete strangers and potentially damage her inflated ridiculous self image.
The funnier part is that she also had dozens of weddings and philanthropic events and organizations that she donated and volunteered regularly on. Seems like a class act and real great person, right?
Unfortunately, she squandered her entire net salary on these events and clothes and shoes and alcohol and every single thing possible; except for her financial responsibilities, such as her student loans and credit cards and utilities and bills.
Pretty hard to not see me as the bad guy when she was so well loved and appreciated by all those who knew her. Little did they all know that behind the scenes, my back breaking labor and financial fortitude was the only thing keeping those great gifts and donations coming. Had I pulled back, she would be utterly incapable of doing any of these things.
It's amazing how people like that can twist everything so distorted that you actually look like a terrible person when you have something bad to say about them.
I was also a bad guy for wanting her to look "nice". Nice, as in: do something with your hair aside from blow drying it and calling it styled. Put on makeup in a fashion that doesn't make you look completely dead and strung out. How about wearing clothes that don't have yellow/brown armpits and pot resin or cigarette burns all over them? How about brushing teeth and not blowing cigarette and morning breath into everyones face when in public? Or here's a good one: get your teeth cleaned more than twice in 8yrs and have the dark yellow plaque removed from your teeth?
I'm such an asshole and possibly "homosexual" though... for not finding this attractive. And at the very least, I don't "love her the way she deserves."
Amazing world we love in.
Good luck to you all.