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Dating advice

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Relationship advice There is a girl in my grade who I have liked for a long time, and we are both in band. Now just last month or so I found that her best friend had a major crush on me, which stumped all my pending efforts of flirting with my crush in fear I might send the wrong message to her friend and be a dick... I am kinda shy and nervous about these things so any help would be extremely great thank you.

Dating advice

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maybe it's very deep but i heard a saying "we regret the things we didn't do rather than the things we did." so talk to your crush and be honest about your feelings!!

Dating advice

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“It would be too easy to say that I feel invisible. Instead, I feel painfully visible, and entirely ignored.”

To solve the dilemma, you must first focus on the problem. You have another girl who likes you, the best friend of the girl you like. You cannot avoid her feelings, and nor should you.

I'm going to give you some advice, and an opinion on what it will do to your relationship, as well as the relationship between the two girls.

I would suggest you make it abundantly clear to her that you are not interested in her, do so gently. Pull her aside at some point where she has time to be alone or with a friend (it differs from person to person), and tell her you are not interested. This will indirectly create a problem with advancing on the girl you do like, as you have just told her best friend that you are not interested in her. She will definitely find out straight away if you are
a)flirting with her or
b)asking her out

The former will be a subtle way of expressing your interest which will undoubtedly cause a sense of jealousy and hate towards her best friend over time. The latter, while equally as problematic, is straightforward and abrupt. She won't have time to foster her feelings before you get rejected/accepted however it is quite likely that over time, if you do get accepted, she will start to get resentful and the former gets repeated.

which is why I would like to give you option c.
c)wait, and once she has moved on, make advances on the girl you are interested in

this is the solution that will bring the least pain to both the girl you are interested in and the girl who is interested in you. It will also reaffirm whether or not you are truly interested in her, since your feelings will either stay or leave within that time. However, I won't lie to you, there is a distinct possibility that taking that option will result in someone else dating her while you wait.

Now, moving onto what you should do about the girl you are interested in. I would like to suggest we go backwards and choose option B in my previous statement. While I myself have no self-confidence and quite often choose D (avoid my feelings), I know and appreciate the fact that a straight confession will almost always improve your chances, as long as she is actually interested in you. Not to mention that a slow advance can cause discontent within both parties, if in fact the one on the receiving end does not in fact like you and doesn't know how to explain this to you.

There you have it, a 3-way relationship is always problematic as you have very little chance of not hurting one of the parties involved. You will have to decide whether you wait, whether you confront the girl who you do not have feelings for, and how you go about confronting the girl that you do have feelings for. Sadly, there is no real answer to relationship problems.

Regards,
A Person.

Dating advice

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Follow your OWN heart. Don't pay attention to anyone who forces you to do anything you don't want to do. Pay more attention to your own feelings and follow them, not the feelings of others.



Dating advice

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Agree with Susiedqqq. If you're true to yourself, and doing so doesn't actually long-term harm anyone else (which, telling crush how you feel irrespective of her friend's unrequited feelings for you, couldn't possibly), then you should...because then you'll happily only ever attract Like (types who are also their true selves).

I think what you're worrying about is whether, in defense of her rejected friend (*possibly* with the aid of said friend badmouthing you as a result out out of sour grapes at getting rejected), your crush might decide against agreeing to date you. Well, if this crush were to place greater priority on a friendship which features unfair demands as go as far as to 'hobble' her desire and ability to enter a relationship, it would simply prove that crush is using non-sensible prioritizing as her EXCUSE - for either not being ready enough for a relationship or just not fancying you enough.

Likewise, if you'd let the incidental feelings of a crush's friend stop you from bringing to fruition what you can more or less tell is amply requited attraction, then you're likewise proving you're not ready enough/don't fancy her enough.

"Feint heart never won faire maiden".

It's money where mouth is time.

This thread has expired - why not start your own?

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