Should I tell me friend I don't want to travel with her?
I hope you guys can provide some solid advice as I feel quite torn at the moment.
Just to give you the background - I recently decided to go travelling next year to Canada. It's been something I've been putting off for some time due to fear - I was worrying about leaving the life I had built here in Ireland etc. However, I recently realised this is something I need to do for my soul before it's too late. I am looking for a fresh start in Canada and I'm hoping to "find myself".
My close friend was also looking to go travelling but when we spoke she wasn't quite sure on where she wanted to go. One night over a few drinks she decided she wanted to go to Canada too and suggested we go together. In the heat of the moment I agreed. I was excited to have a buddy with me and travelling with her seemed less daunting.
Now, after some thought I am apprehensive about going with her... I honestly love her dearly but her energy is all over the place. She talks A LOT and sometimes can be quite negative. Although this doesn't bother me too much in our current situation (we don't live together and only see each other occasionally), I'm worried it will be a different story in Canada once we are around each other all the time.
I feel there's pros and cons with both choices and I am finding it difficult to decide. For example it would be nice to have a friend to go with and experience things with, also I wouldn't be lonely etc. But going alone might be better for me to grow as a person, and I wouldn't risk getting frustrated with some of her personality traits etc.
Can anyone provide any advice please and perhaps how to tell her if I decide to go alone? Also, if any of you have gone travelling with a friend/alone I would appreciate your thoughts on this.
I've had both disasters and heavenly times traveling with other people.
Trust your instincts on this one. Just tell her your plans have changed and must do this alone. No need to explain - you just are no longer no available to travel.
I believe you found the answer to your problem already. "going alone might be better for me to grow as a person".
This is very true, and I'm sure your friend would understand if you told her this. You don't have to mention that she's part of the reason you don't want to go with her, just tell her you thought about it for a long while and you think that its better for you to go alone. You believe that this trip will help you 'find yourself' and grow as a person, and so you'd like to take the trip by yourself to experience this. Or something along those lines.
The point is to express to her that this trip is very important to you as a person, and that going alone is what you desire. I believe it's the right choice as well, having a friend with you generates a sort of safety-net so to speak. If you truly wish to find yourself, grow as a person, its best have these experiences and overcome these problems, that you will undoubtedly face in Canada, by yourself.
Thank you both for your quick responses. I really appreciate them
Yes I think deep down it does seem like the right decision to go alone. I think it's just the fear stopping me. The fear of being lonely and also the fear of letting down my friend.
Thanks for giving me the extra push to take a risk and do the right thing for myself.