When is it time to let go?
I feel really close to giving up all hope with my current boyfriend. We have been dating for two and a half years, and for one year we have been long distance. When we were not in long distance our relationship was okay to be honest but the distance I feel has imporoved us at least a little bit because I feel like he has more respect for me and he wants to be with me more then he has before. While we were together he was disrespecting me in a lot of ways and he lied to me with just about everything from his age to the amount of people he had slept with. He had to move out of my country because his dad forced him to and had promised me that we will get back together again. After he moved he had told me all of the lies and wanted me to know the truth which was a hard thing to deal with but it kind of made us closer. It seems though, that we are not really moving forward anymore. he is having a lot of family problems that I just get in the way of. His family hates me and if we marry none of them will ever talk to him again and this is serious. He knows this so I am a secret to his family and it really bothers me but his family would disown him if they find out, so I am not able to call him only he can call me. There are a lot of rules that we have like the not calling thing, it drives me crazy sometimes not being able to call but sometimes he does things like tell me hes sleeping for 15 hours, is that possible? to sleep for that long like once a week? anyways, hes having trouble looking for a job he wants to work full time, the plan all along has been for him to move away, have me visit within a few months, and move in together after a year or two. Its been one year of long distance and he hasent figured out his living situation yet. He has moved from two countries and he tells me he wants to go somewhere else, and hes telling me that once he gets there I need to give him time to work find a job save up money.. this time he moves he wants to bring his brothers and his mother with him because of personal things going on with his dad and they dont accept me and they will be dependent on him. When I mentioned that he told me that he will always chose me in the end.
I have given him two years of my life and I feel like he lies to me about what hes doing, like when he tells me hes been sleeping for 15 hours at a time. I feel like we havent really made any progress and are still in the same situation as when he left. I dont know what to do anymore if I should hold on to this never ending story or move on and tell him to do the same.
Im not sure at what point enough is enough and were to draw the line for someone you really love.
I'm not sure if I gave enough detail on the relationship or not I tried to keep it as short as possible thank you for any advice
Why bother with someone who lies to you? How can you justify a relationship with a guy you can't trust and a guy who drives you to question yourself? This alone should tell you that you're 'too close' to your relationship and you need to take two steps away and look at it from a different perspective.
Your instinct is talking to you because your heart is asking questions and causing confusion about your relationship but two years of your life has gone into this guy. Ask yourself what has come back to you from him? How can you expect him to put you first when he can't even sort his own family issues?
Yes, it's all ok to love someone but it needs to be reciprocal. You need to understand that if this guy really loved you, he would be with you in every way without question.