Hi, would like to keep anonymous but im a male aged 24. I Struggle really bad when it comes to getting a relationship. Since i was 9 i was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes and because i want to keep my health and diabetes under control i choose were possible not to drink alcohol, mainly on special occasions or occasionally on weekends. Because of this growing up i never went out to clubs or around friends for drinks as i would think that im the only person there who would not drink so be unsociable. This has also took a big effect on my social skills. Unless im with close friends its hard for me to feel relaxed with a group of people or with a certain person. I also fear that if i found someone i liked and would go and introduce myself and get to know them more that i would ask a few questions and then the conisation would go cold making it really awkard. I have to then try and make an excuse go and do something to get out of the situation. What’s strange about all this is that i work in a sales retail environment since the age of 16 and very good at building a repot with the customer and getting to know them and always have questions for them, so why cant i do this for someone who i like or would like to know?
I would love to meet someone who could understand me for who I am.
Any advise would be appreciated.
I had a similar problem mate minus the diabetes I spoke to someone I would really recommend I can pass on details if u like good luck
Yes that would he brilliant thank you. Did it take you long to get sorted? Thanks again.
Hey, you need to take the relationship that you're looking for and hang it on a peg. First of all just make friends with these people, it seems you are so anxious about not being in a relationship that when a possible suitor is presented you are overwhelmed with the fact, and what to say, that you end up tongue tied..
This is why you cannot talk or think of what to say - Exactly for that reason, Because you are thinking about it...!
Yes have a roving eye, if you see someone you like, just take small steps, a little bit of a chat, then ask if they'd like to get a drink, maybe a *cola* or juice, (they wont think bad of this, i always had Respect for a person that was fun on nothing but Life - no need for alcohol) Do not think of this as a draw back, rather an advantage... talk about yourself, what you do, then ask them,
Your pass time or fave music, then ask theirs..? and if you cant think of anything to say - tell her/him that they've made you tongue tied (its cute) Tell the person you want to chat more, or hear from them - suggest taking a walk, DONT think about what to say or ask, just look around you it will come..
Please stop blaming (your lack of use of) alcohol for your social anxiety. There are just too many people who don't choose to drink alcohol at all. Then there are some who can take it or leave it. Then there are those who use it as a crutch to be social.
You don't need it!!
You also don't need to go to clubs or dances to meet people. Start smaller. Perhaps a class or much smaller social meeting; even a self help group for people who have diabetes.
Oh this is brilliant thanks. Yeah it does feel like your on your own and with having little (out of work) social experience you don't know what to say or do or react in certain ways. I sort of have a few questions that gets me building a repor but then once they are answered you have nothing else to say and can't really ask the same questions haha. I do want to be in a relationship with a woman and I know one I get to that stage everything will be more relaxed. I feel like if I ask a certain question that they will laugh or feel embarrassed or look at you funny. Like I said because I choose not to drink I never seen the need to go to nights out so got hobbies instead. So if they ask you to go out for a night out I would feel forced into going to not show myself up
Its all at your own pace really have u email I can send her details to you privately or I could pass on your details I you prefer
Yeah its [e-mail address removed]