Been dating for four years and broke up for zillionth time(ok ok exaggerated). We are opposite in many ways-educated white Jewish male only child who grew up comfortable-high school dropout Christian Black American from a large family who had to struggle for every penny. She Taurus. Me Libra. She practical realist with both feet firmly on the ground. Me the dreamer who has problems bringing dreams to fruition. I messed up first and cheated for no particular good reason in the first three months. She waited and exacted vengeance with a series of affairs while we wrre supposedly moving closer and I even moved in for a bit. Then we had a good long break of at least three months prior to re-starting in January of this year, including a semi-proposal in the form of a card and I began the business of getting divorced. She made sure I deleted my dating web-sites but continues to keep hers active. She repeatedly accessed my phone for months at a time, checking all the sub-routines and once I even let her run auto-recover on my chip but she has never let me do the same. But that was all in the distant past. I went to therapy and learned to trust again & except for the occasional comment she has given me no reason for suspicion. However, she recently broke up with me onceagain saying that she just wasn't happy and that therefore couldn't make me happy. Part of me wants to break up my way, change my number, stay away from any place associated that I might run across her. The nostalgic, optimistic part thinks that somehow we can make it if we try (which would include her going to therapy as I did to heal those old wounds). She wants to stay in touch and recently she texted some apologetic and kind things-unusual for her as usually she uses complete radio silence to her advantage. The last time we got back together in January it was explosive and intense and loving all over again. We made love and she said yes she would marry me. A week later she was putting her make up on and randomly said Im not the marrying type. My divorce is finalizing and part of me thinks she's scared to actually commit to anyone. I have been her very longest relationship in history. All her family roots for us. Her brothers say they've never seen anyone like me to be so supportive and devoted all this time. But maybe I'm just the chump who hasn't figured out that she's playing me like a fish on a reel? We have had an exceedingly complex relationship, including blackmail attempts..too much to list. Pre-January when I had a few encounters, she pursued me twice as hard as she ever had and things really ignited in the bedroom. I'm betwixt and between. End it my way-be the one to cut the cord?
Is this a sexual thing between you two? ("explosive and intense.")??
You were MARRIED when you took up with her?
"Too much to list" is right!!
Please continue counseling to figure out why you feel you must try to make it work with this woman.