Worried about my suicidal boyfriend. Should I contact his parents?
This is probably going to be TL;DR, so please, bare with me. I know the answer is obvious, "this is an abusive relationship, you're immature and you should break up and move on.", but like most relationships, it's complicated. Please try to be a little considerate with your responses, as I'm having anxiety attacks and am very emotionally unstable. Thank you~
This whole year has been horrible, I've been hospitalized several times due to my unhealthy relationship and have given up on seeking help. Every time I go to a hospital or see a therapist/psychiatrist, my problems go away for a few days then come back and intensify. I started reading the Bible last night and it helped a little, but I'm still very anxious and don't know what to do or where to start.
Last week I had a miscarriage (I was 2 months along) and was really depressed about it. I stayed in bed for a whole week, not moving or eating. I didn't go to school or work and to make matters worse, my boyfriend WAS NOT AROUND. He's been really distant lately and it's horrible for me because we're already in a long distance relationship. On Saturday, I decided to end my life and tried to hang myself. I wrote him a really long message on Facebook...then went about my business...I failed and the belt slipped through the door, leaving me crashing hard onto the floor on my knees and hurting my neck. I didn't call any one or go to a doctor. I just laid there waiting for the sun to rise and for my boyfriend to contact me. when he finally logged on, he types "WTF are you smoking?" then calls me and asks what's wrong, but I couldn't get myself to speak. So he starts yelling and saying really mean things then hangs up. He calls back saying "WHY'D YOU HANG UP?!?" I responded with "I didn't, it must have disconnected." He hangs up again and calls back "BULLSHIT!!!" then hangs up. I get a message on FB a minute later, "killing myself. loading my gun." I call him, no answer. So I call the cops and they speed to his house. He calls me back and I tell him the cops are outside. He hangs up. Calls me back and says, "I can lose my armed guard license." I had already told the police that he messaged me on Facebook, so they kept calling me asking for the message he sent me...and I thought long and hard about it. "If I send it, he'll get his license taken away and will hate me forever. And in 5 years he can reapply and might hurt himself. Or he'll hurt himself in the hospital with another object.", "If I don't give it to them, he'll just keep threatening me and he won't get the help he needs." ((BTW, this is his 3rd threat at suicide in the past month. He frequently scares me into thinking he's going to do it)). So I went with the latter and sent the messages to the police.
I haven't heard a word from the police, his family, his friends, or HIM in over 24 hours. I want to contact his mom, but I've never met her in person and the only times I've talked to her over the phone she didn't seem to fond of me being involved with her son. I don't know what to ask the police or if they would even be able to help me. He's in California and I think they hold suicidal persons for 72 hours? But I don't want to wait that long
I know I did this, I just wanted him to get help. He always tells me I need to see a doctor and get on meds, but he's the ONLY ONE I'm this crazy around. He refuses to seek help because he's an armed security guard and I just felt like he really needs to talk to someone as much as I do. I just want to know that he's okay...My biggest fear is him losing it in the hospital and doing something insane
~Should I contact his mother? or Should I wait for a few days? Should I contact the police?
If I contact either his mother or the police, what should I say?
~Have you dealt with this kind of situation before? What did you/would you do in this situation?
~I think We DO need to take a break and think about our relationship. I am going to seek medical attention when I get my next pay check. I know I shouldn't wait, but I'm already in a lot of debt.
Thanks for reading! Hope someone out there can give me some advice
UPDATE: Called police department, they said "Due to privacy information, I cannot release any information."
Afraid to call his parents
UPDATE: He didn't respond, but I just checked my Facebook and it said "Read 12:41am" that was 20 minutes ago...I'm assuming he's alive and out of the hospital and doesn't feel like responding.
Both of you require help. First get help for yourself, only then you will be able to help him, isn't it? Keep him off your mind for a while and concentrate on getting back to yourself. If you think of death, anxiety, depression, what do you think he is going to think of?
I think you should
Break up with this person
Focus your energy on your education and work
Get a pet for company and a nice constructive hobby like art or a sport, just drawing or reading or jogging will do for your over active mind
You're young. You haven't even lived yet. Give yourself a chance to. You haven't been married or had your first child. There's a lot of life you haven't experienced so stop all of this complete nonsense and go an live your life.
I'm a 21 yrs old female, wanted to drop dead for a long time because of depression and abuse, held on, changed everything about my life that sucked, people, family, job, environment, stopped drinking, smoking, sex and drugs. I changed my outlook and started to be more greatful for the things I have and the opportunitys that are open to me, and now I'm going to have a home and my own family. Things change. Make the little changes to achieve the big ones. Very sorry for your loss and and a woman I can fully sympathise how devastating that must have been, but I think god/ whatever higher power you relate to has kept that baby back for a reason and will bless you again when the time is right. For now you need to focus on you and sorting your life out.