My husband and porn
on Nov 4 2009 at 21:01
hi everyone,i got into my hubbys laptop he gave me the password etc and i went through his history and found endless porn sites that he visits everything from live girls videos etc we ad a row over it and i deleted it all, months later like tonight ive been on there again and found loads again live women you can chat to and watch them doing things to their selves, again im hurt and upset,why does he need to do this all the time he says he dosent watch it anymore but hes lying because ive found it,we,ve ad problems last year he was seeing an ex behind my back but we are still together tho ill never forgive or forget ,and im miserable with him and i bring it up all the time,our sex life is suffering because i think of him and her, is this why he looks at all the porn,or is he just a dirty pig, please advise thanks
on Nov 16 2009 at 00:04
my husband as looked at porn for years. i told him to stop as it was upsetting me and to not look at it again. i told him i felt that he was comparing me to the girls on them sites and it had knocked my confidence about myself and how i perform in bed. he said he wouldn't do it again. well he did and the trust as gone completetly. everytime he is on the computer now all i think he is doing is going on them sites even thou he says he isn't. i felt digusted why he would want to look at them and he told me he was fascinated with the sex which hurt deeply. now. i aslo think he as cheated on me and im wondering if hes worth staying with anymore. maybe ask yourself the same question. i wouldn't trust him if he as gone and looked again, and even seeing his ex behind your back, i think you deserve better.
on Nov 18 2009 at 21:46
This is a blokes point of view. However un natural porn is and degrading to women I would say 99% of blokes watch it.
Masterbation is also natural and the saying goes that 9 out of 10 men say they do it, and the 10th person is lying. Porn is just an aid and if you were to ask what the women looked like over the last three days he watched it I bet he wouldn't remember. Yes there may be an underlying problem and in my oppinion his sexual needs may not being met.
Reading your post I think you both have got into a viscous circle which is this: he was seeing an ex, you found out, sex life suffered. His needs are not met, he turns to porn. you find out, sex life suffers, he turns to porn, etc... I wonder whether you clear his history on his computer and break the circle by increasing your sex life considerably. then in a week or two check his history and see if it has porn in it. Hope this helps and is not to blunt a view.
on Nov 19 2009 at 18:07
hi helpinneed,thanks for your replies,and to be honest i think my problem runs deeper then the porn, its more to do withthe ex which is why i cant move on , i do hate him for what hes done to me and i cant forgive and as for the sex i cant face it with him i think of them together all the time and i bring it up at least once a week, i know im drivin him away but i dont care,he acts like nothings happened and that i should ave moved on by now,he just doesnt get how i feel .
on Nov 19 2009 at 22:27
To be honest reading your last post it seems you may have answered your own problem. You should either seek help from a trained person who can listen to your problems, or if it is so difficult to live with him after what he has done then maybe call it a day.