so we were apart for a few months and then all of a sudden she wants to get back together but i was hurt, id put my kneck out for her time and time again, i supported her through cancer and through problems with her family (especially her mother who was not fond of the fact her daughter was in a lesbian relationship with me). It was even more upsetting because of the fact there was a point in time in which my mother abandoned me for months she came back but i was always scared she would leave again. I've had my father and my half brother turn their backs on me which hurt and she knew all of this information and left any way to be spiteful (she later admitted this). So when she said lets get back together I refused for months and she wasnt patient about it she manipulated and lied, threatened suicide, started self harming and basicly tried anything to have my attention.
I took a long break away from her (needed to figure things out without her input) and I realised that regardless of the crazy things that had happened I still wanted her in my life because I love her but now she doesn't want to. Things are going good for her at the moment she has a new job, family life is more stable, re-connected with friends she cut off and shes seeing somebody. I feel so confused because even though she says she doesnt want to be with me she still talks about how i mean alot to her and how ill always be her bestfriend, she still even calls me every night and falls asleep on the phone. I dont know if im her friend, her comfort or her back up plan in case things dont work out with whoever shes seeing.
If im honest i feel angry about everything, I was right there with her when she was saying she doesnt want to live anymore, I was right there when she was scared to death of surgery to remove her cancer and it feels like i provided all of that support and she never appreciated any of it then somebody else gets the better person when i was there through all of the struggle. I dont know what to do at all.
So - she does not need a another love in her life. Which is what YOU want.
She is taking up your valuable time. You could be having a relationship with another person, but there she is, using you to put her to sleep.
Time to cut the cord and get on with your life. Put her into your "friend" zone. She has you in her "friend zone" - and that's it.
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