The biggest f***-up of my life
I'm a 29/M in a 2-year relationship with a 23/F. I've had a very bad month, extreme pressure at work, barely sleeping, stress tearing me apart. Not trying to make an excuse, just giving the prelude. Had an ongoing quarrel about money with the GF for some time, and yesterday in the middle of an argument I just exploded. Became extremely rude and cruel just in seconds. Yelled and called her names. She just started crying and asked me to leave. What I did, in fury. Only on my way home I realized what did I do. She is heartbroken. Didn't block me off, but barely communicates. Wants to break up, what I completely understand, but I love her from the bottom of my heart. She is my everything. I can't imagine my life without her, even a single day. She is the person I was going to marry. And now it's all gone, thanks to me... Not sure if and how will I be able to fix this, but I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive myself. Please advise...
You said: "Had an ongoing quarrel about money with the GF for some time,"
This has been going on for some time, and there have been quarrels.
So - she just ended it.
You can apologize, but what are you going to do about atonement? (IF it is YOU that needs to take steps to fix or atone for the money problem)
Can you work this out without yelling?
Hello Barpbarp, If you have never done this before give her time to settle down, then try to talk to her. Calling her out of her name she might have some serious doubts right now. She might even be feeling disrespected. There is really no good answer to this question because it really depends on her feelings about you and her self respect. Try to tell her how you feel and how you want and need her, then give her time to answer. It's good that you acknowledge what you did was wrong, but you have to try to tell this to her. One important thing you really do need to be humble at this point. I'm not saying let her disrespect you but hear her out. Good Luck!!
Thank you for your replies.
SUSIEDQQQ, the fight over money was not worth escalating and definitely not ending it the way I did. It's nothing that couldn't be worked out (in my opinion). And it was about reducing expenses to save up money. I might have been pushing too hard.
1JEAN, she is very hurt (and that is killing me the most). She doesn't wanna talk now, so I sent her an email explaining everything and apologising. Hope she will want to talk to me when she calms down.
Give her a week then ask her to meet you somewhere and be ready to explain everything. No flowers no gift this is just your chance to open your heart to her.
You can even ask her to meet you for dinner. If she asks why just telling her you want to take her to dinner because you love her. Remember when she's sad, even if it means just being a silent shoulder to cry on it matters.