How much time does he need?
After being together for 4 years, and having children together, should I expect my boyfriend to have his priorities straight? Or is that ridiculous thinking on my part? He is 26 years old, I will be 27 in a couple months. He still puts his wants before our needs. I have talked to him about it, everything from casual conversation to ultimatums. Nothing is getting through to him. I have explained that I'm not trying to change him, I'm just asking that he act like a responsible family man instead of a single teenaged guy. Am I wasting my breath? This has been going on for the last 2 1/2 years. I'm frustrated and tired of waiting. He is selfish and self serving when it comes to finances, emotional issues, intimate issues, family time, etc. I can't help but have hope that one day he'll see what he's doing to our little family and change his behavior, at least a little. But I'm beginning to think I'm fooling myself by thinking that...
He's 26 and has two children. That's a lot to put on such a young guy.
Some guys never grow up. You are going to have to figure out if he even has the POTENTIAL of maturing, or if this self-centered, immature behavior is in his nature.
Couples counseling might help. At least there would be someone else who could help you figure this out.
What sort of role model is he for your children? What is he teaching them if he's selfish and self serving? He could be a late maturer, but if you chose him to be the father of your children, then you must have seen something positive about him.
He needs to realize that you never stop being a parent once you are one, and while you have been trying to get him to see the error in his ways, he needs to 'man up' to do it himself. You, on the other hand have a choice after giving him ultimatums. You basically need to follow through with it because he needs to see your actions and not so much listen to your words.
His attitude towards his responsibilities is very immature and as you would know his history, and after 4 years together, only you will know whether he will ever change for the better. If his children are not a motivator for him to be a family man, then what is?
Your children need you to be happy and if you can't achieve this with this guy because of his attitude, then you well know what you need to do for their sakes.