My partner and I have been together for 12 years now. Very early in our relationship he suggested we go swinging. I really did not want to do it, the thought made me feel physically sick. Despite this he pushed and pushed me until I agreed. I cried on my way to meet them and poured loads of alcohol down my throat. I did what he asked, it was awful, the worst experience of my life. I said I would never do it again but soon after the pressure started again. Threats of him leaving me, I am boring, I stupidly agreed to it again. This experience was not as bad, but not what i wanted. After doing it 6 times now with different couples I have had enough. I have suffered breast cancer, a mastectomy and very conscious of my scars, body. I am also going through an awful menopause and have lost interest in sex, although I still do it. He has suggested today that we swing again, and sulked when I said no. I flipped, I feel desperate and so angry. I hit him, I know this is wrong but I lost control completely. Despite everything I have done for him, its never enough. Even though I was crying he still asked me to do it. I don't know what to do, I feel I am losing it. He is now ignoring me.
Stand your ground. Tell him you have "outgrown" this kind of behavior and would like an exclusive with him. Is he able to keep that kind of "contract."? Best to look at that, too.
P.S. In this day and age, there's no need to go thru "awful" menopause. See your Dr. or women's center ASAP.
I know I have to toughen up and call his bluff. If he threatens to leave I should say go ahead. Why at my age I have to put up with this crap I don't know. I have seen the Dr on a number of occasions about my menopause. Theres not much more they can do as I am on medication for my cancer and cannot go on any HRT.
I am sorry to hear you are going though this kind of pain. I am a breast cancer survivor and I've had chemotherapy for 18 months. I've had a mastectomy and I've also had reconstruction and a reduction all at different times (plus other surgeries). I have had too many surgeries to count at this point. I do not talk about my breast cancer because to this day it is a very painful subject for me. In the last 7 years I have had mammogram every 6 months and then I have needle biopsies. I find my scar sexy, unique and a constant reminder that life is a battle worth fighting.
Halfway through my chemotherapy I went into menopause and three months after the chemo I started bleeding every day for weeks then months at a time. I had four D & C to control the sudden heavy vaginal bleeding which none worked for me. After that they tried a IUD but that didn't help. Two months later the pain started and it would only make me lay in bed in a fetal position it was too much to bear. The pain was worse than giving delivery. Three days later I went to the emergency room I couldn't bear the pain anymore. I ended up having a medically necessary hysterectomy.
I know this was the long version just to tell you what I think you should know. I don't want you to suffer the way I did please go to a GYN specialist as soon as you can and ask for a hysterectomy. I was told I waited too long this should have been done in first place. I don't know if this is right for you but please look into it ASAP.
I know I did not cover all of your problems but this is something I needed to tell you.