Broken relationship ... my fault? 2
My 2 year relationship has pretty much ended around our 2 year anniversary, and I am in such a quandary about what to do. Things had been bad for a while, constant arguments, cheating accusations and my partner constantly pushing me away, when before we used to joke about never arguing.
I have had a difficult year and over the last 6 months I slowly lost sight of myself and turned into a person I don't recognise. It seems my boyfriend didn't recognise me either to the point where he had enough of the fighting, me promising to fix it then never changing. He ended it and then said he wanted space and for me to do "less talking more proving." I went the total opposite way as I didn't have a clue where I stood so I pushed and pushed. Every time I called he sounded more and more annoyed to hear from me. I love him and know that if we work on things we can get past this but he doesn't seem to want to and I don't know how or even if I should try to change things. I have asked to work together to move on and past the arguments and misery of the last few months but he said he isn't ready. I feel like I have destroyed something I actually cherished and I don't know why, or what to do from here. We have left it in a position where we have a week out and then see but I don't know if there is any point or what the point is. Has anyone got any advice for me? I think he's reached the end of his tether and I don't know how to rescue the situation and move forward.
"I have had a difficult year and over the last 6 months I
slowly lost sight of myself and turned into a person I
don't recognise. "
would you please explain how and what exactly are the changes you went through?
A few things happened, not massive, but enough, to cause stress and a lack of confidence. When I met my (ex?) I had just come from a relationship that was physically abusive. I managed to shut that out and try to deal with it but a year on I was being bullied at work which was exhausting daily and I couldn't do anything about it. I was also job hunting which was stressful as I was struggling to get anywhere. I was (and still am) being stalked and harassed via the Internet which has been going on for 2 years. I was supporting a friend through a messy break up from an abusive relationship which took it's toll as they started to lash out at me. I thought I could just carry on but things wore me down and my confidence was disappearing. I noticed a change in how my partner was being with me and immediately thought it was because they were cheating on me, not that they might be unhappy. As they withdrew I became more and more needy for affection and validation. I was full of anxiety and paranoid thoughts and couldn't relax. When he didn't text back because he was probably busy I would think he was messaging someone else so I would call and call and try and explain "how I felt" but it all would have just sounded so irrational. These are just a few examples... I didn't feel like I was myself, no confidence, low self esteem.