Has 10 year marriage finally run its course?
I have been married for 10 1/2 years, I am 32 and have 3 kids, 10, 7, 2. My marriage has been on the rocks for about 3 years now. I am at my witts end, I don't understand when or how things started going wrong. I help out a lot (in my opinion) around the house and with the kids but it is never enough. My wife and I have nothing in common, we don't like the same films, we don't like the same music, we have different oppinions to the way the other thinks.
I am generally unhappy in this relationship and I don't really have the desire to make it work, I have been trying for the past 3 years and am exausted by it. To top it off the wife has now started feeling depressed and stressed with life in general. So leaving is even more of a problem.
I can't be ill or be sad or share my problems because she 'doesn't want to hear about them'. I feel supressed and that I am just the person who brings in the money.
Do I continue to work on this or do i call it a day. If i call it a day and she does not want too then do i go back or do i say no, enough is enough.
Any advice is appreciated.
I am not a therapist and, even if I were, I would need to speak to both of you at length to truly know what happened and how best to go from here. HOWEVER, my own relationship counseling taught me that often a relationship will deteriorate or cease to be 'satisfactory' (to say the least) when one or both individuals in that relationship cease to 'grow' in it. Unfortunately, it often continues to spiral down until you both decide to work at it. The only way to do so is to seek GOOD quality relationship therapy. The great thing about it is that it can also help you find yourself again, and help you to grow and therefore find more satisfaction within yourself (and the same for your wife), which in turn will improve your marriage. In the event that you 2 discover that this marriage is not founded on solid grounds and therefore it may be best to end it, you will also learn tools to do so in a more amicable, stress-less way which will, ultimately, help your children too. Jules