this is going to be a little long, i really hope you have some tips for me.
i have a situation that's pretty tricky and i dont know what to do anymore. i am 25 and my boyfriend is 27.
my boyfriend (26 months relationship, 24 months living together) sent me away two days ago (no break-up), for an unknown period of time. he s very angry at me.
i did something very bad by accident, which i never wanted to happen. you see we share a car, and he is a father without rights (his kid of 9 years old lives with the mother, they never had a relationship. the kid is the product of a ONS he had as a teenager). last week, he told me he needed the car, because he met some people on fb who maybe know where his daughter is now (the mom hates him and doesnt want him to see the child, because she wants her all to herself and she uses the girl against him. she's a real b*** and she changes living places often, to get away from him). but he would give anything to the kid again and have her live with him / us. she hasn't come to visit us in over a year because her mother says we are bad persons (which is not true, we love her), until she actually believed it and didn't want to come anymore.
so he told me he needed the car on saturday, to go and visit these people to get the information to where his daughter is now. i said ok, please drop me off at the barn (had to take care of my horse that day) before you go off. he agreed. then on friday night, he calls me and says he cannot make it home tonight (he is a truck driver), he has to stay out for the night. but he'd be home the next morning by 8 o'clock, so we can leave. i said, ok, but call me if something happens. i woke up at 7 in the morning. no call, nothing. i thought, ok he is late. i don't know when he will be back. i'll just go to my horse, i'll be back in an hour or two and then he can go and visit these guys. then at 10:00 he sends me a text: i'll be home in 30 mins. i text him back: but i'm already on my way to the barn. he text back: you knew i needed the car for something very important. we'll talk when you get home!!!
i text back: hey, you were late and didn't call me! i'm already at the barn, i'll be home by 1 pm and you will have the car. why didn't you call me earlier?!?! - no answer.
so. i got home at 1 pm. i've never seen him SO angry. i was so scared of him. he yelled at me, that the people he wanted to meet, lived far away and that they only were in our area until mid-day. i asked him, why the hell he didn't tell me before, because i would have come straight home! in that moment i realized what i accidentally did by taking the car. i was scared to death and locked myself in the bedroom.
we slept seperately (i in bed, he on the couch). we didn't speak the whole saturday and the whole sunday. until i started a conversation with him on sunday evening. i told him i was sorry, i felt so bad about the situation. i told him i didn't know that these people lived far away and that he should have told me....or he should have called me right away to come home, instead of text me "we'll talk when you get home". he was so pissed off, he wouldnt even look at me. he said that i put my horse over his daughter. which is NOT true. i would never keep him away from his child on purpose. this was all a big misunderstanding to me. i had no idea!!!
he told me he nearly was to throw me out on saturday and that he doesnt know if he loves me anymore, after what i've done. i was so heartbroken and i broke down before his eyes, crying very hard. i told him again and again that i didn't mean for this to happen and that i was so so so sorry. i'd give anything to turn back time. i really never felt so bad about anything. he told me he would call these people on monday morning and if they don't want to speak to him anymore, he will throw me out. you know what the crazy thing about this is? we went to bed and cuddeled with eachother. i fell asleep in his arms, crying. and praying.
the next morning i drove him to his truck. i cried in his arms and we kissed goodbye, the usual monday-morning thing. except for the crying.
i drove back home and went to sleep for a few hours. i was woken on mid-day by a text-message, in which he wrote that he spoke with the people and they would only have time to meet up in 4 months and that he was throwing me out because it was my fault that he would have to wait so long for an information on his daughter, he would not answer my calls or texts. he wanted me out by the weekend.
i broke down, crying. my heart was racing.
i tried calling him, it was true, he didnt answer. i was home alone. his mom wasn't home, so wasn't his brother and his wife and child. i had NOWHERE to go. the only option i had, was calling his boss, because that would be the only way to be able to contact him. his boss dispatched him home and i he returned home, pissed off that i called his boss (his boss is more like his friend and didnt mind at all helping me out). i told him i was desperate and had nowhere to go and i wanted to talk to him RIGHT NOW. i was crying so hard. he looked at me full of hatred. but i think he understood why i did it.
we talked once again about the situation. i have never cried this much. i told him i was sorry and didnt mean for this to happen and asked for forgiveness. i would do anything to help him get this important information. i told him that he means the world to me, he is the only man i could ever love and that i want a future with him. he looked at me, i could tell he was thinking about it and that he couldnt just let me go like this. i could tell by his eyes that he still loves me because they had tears in them.
then after a while he told me that he could forgive me, but not here and not now. i should give him some time. he told me to leave for a while, so he could get over what i did.
he gave me his promise, that he wouldnt let any other women (relationship or ONS) into his life. i promised him not to date other guys (i really dont feel like dating other guys anyway). i asked him how long it would take approximately. he said 4 months.
not being around him hurts me so much and i've cried multiple times a day since then (it's been 2 days since i left). my best friend and her boyfriend let me stay for a night and they think it's wrong what he's doing to me. sending me away like that, torturing me with having to wait for an unknown period of time. i spoke with his best friend too. he says i shouldnt have taken the car, but he also says he sould have called me and that he is over-reacting. it is cruel what he is doing to me. is he over-reacting? is it ok to throw someone away just because of a stupid misunderstanding? he only sees that i took the car and that EVERYTHING is MY fault.
does our love have a chance? what should i do? i love this man to death and by that i mean, i want to spend the rest of my life with him because HE IS THE ONE. i just hope that he feels the same. he always told me that i was the one. i moved in with him after 3 weeks and we never had any serious problems....until now. but i know he is the one for me. and i know that he still loves me.
spending christmas and new year's eve without him will be terrible. i miss him so much. and a very important question: IS IT OK WHAT HE IS DOING TO ME? because everybody i know are saying that it isn't. even his best friend says it's cruel. my mom and dad just say to let it go and stay single. but i love him just too much. i cannot live without this man. i just want to go home and lock him in my arms and kiss him and start over...
please help me
Something is fishy here. I don't believe his story. He's overreacting and blaming you for an unfortunate communication mixup - which he contributed to.
Find out what REALLY is going on that he wants to get rid of you for 4 months.