I met this guy a little over a month ago. Right off the bat I was attracted to
him and knew he was attracted to me. We spent the whole night talking.
a week later I told him we should hang out sometime and asked for his number.
he got a really surprised look on his face and said "really?...ok!"
the following week he asked if I would be at open mic (where we first met)
And when I said yes he excitedly said he would see me there. This is
2 weeka after we had originally gone and spent the entire night talking.
so on this night we sat together and talked the whole night again.
But this time he was extremely candid about his feelings for me and
how incredible he thought I was. He went so far as to say he was enamored
with me and wanted to spend more time with me, also that he had stalked
my music page and thought all my lyrics were amazing and he could relate
to them so much. Said he hoped he would win the lottery so I'd never have
to work again. Asked where I would want him to take me first. Said usually
he would be more closed off but that he just felt like he could really be
honest with me because he trusted me and there was just something about me.
That night I ended up going home with him and when it was time for bed
he offered to let me sleep in his. I told him I wasn't ready to be that close with
him or anyone and he responded in such an amazing way and told me to sleep
in his bed and he would take the couch. I fell for him a lot more after that.
he was so incredibly kind and caring and asking what he could do for me.
The next night we hung out again and made out for a while. He said "I could
do this forever..." and when I didn't say anything he said "well...I mean"
And I thought it was so sweet. I was trying really hard to hold back and not
give into my feelings too soon because I've been hurt terribly in the past.
but this guy just seemed so genuine. So when it was time for sleep again
he offered to give me his bed again and he would take the couch. I told him
I wanted him to sleep in his bed with me. He was so sweet and asked me like
5 times if I was really ok with it. I assured him I was and we cuddled the entire night,
nothing more. I really appreciated how he didn't push anything on me at all,
after that he was still very kind and into me but seemed a tiny bit distant at times,
I gave him space and didn't text him because I respected his need for alone time
and figured that was all it was about. He would always come back around
and want to see me again and be super nice again. I started to trust him more
and be more open with my feelings which sometimes I felt he reacted strangely to
considering he was the one who had been so incredibly into me right off the
bat. He had even told me he liked me so much that he didn't want to move too fast
and freak me out so I figured I had it in the bag whenever I decided to
open up to him in return. But I gave him the benefit of the doubt and assumed
maybe he was just feeling more vulnerable when he learned I actually liked him
back. I thought I needed to reassure him that he could trust me. Well one night he invited
me out to a bar. I had been having a lot of anxiety that day so I had taken a xanax
earlier on and not eaten before I went out (mistake in retrospect but what can you do)
I ended up getting wildly intoxicated and woke up the next day in his bed with
zero memory of much of the night. He was leaving for work and when I asked
how he was he was pretty cold and distant towards me but I figured he was just
hungover and didn't think much of it. I apologized later that day for being so messy
and he said it was fine and that it happens to the best of us. I didn't hear from him
for 2 days after that. Finally I texted him asking if I had done something wrong that night
because I had sensed a weirdness since then and I felt badly about it. He responded saying
it had been a weird night and that I had done something that had bothered him, but it
was no big deal because people do things they don't mean when drunk and he just
didn't feel right texting me about it. So I asked if he would be at open mic again that night
and he said yes so I figured we'd talk about it then. When I got to open mic he was
incredibly awkward when he saw me and basically tried avoiding me for 2 hours until
I finally approached him and asked if we could talk about that night. He was so
uncomfortable he couldn't even look me in the eye and asked if I really wanted to know.
I said of course I do, why wouldn't I? He said there were nights he didn't remember that
he'd rather not know about. I said ok well I'd rather know because I've been feeling
badly about it and you're obviously very weird towards me now and it was never that
way before. He finally told me that I had been so drunk I was falling over and kept calling him
Andrew, my exes name. I apologized and explained that I had been with Andrew for 2 years
and that he was semi ingrained into my psyche, but that I had no lasting romantic feelings towards
Andrew, that I really liked him and it was an honest mistake. He said it was fine and he understood
but was still acting like my mere presence was making him extremely uncomfortable. I told him
I'm a very honest person and that if he wasn't interested anymore it's fine but I wanted to clear
up the weirdness because he is a person I'm going to see around a lot because our lives
intertwine in a lot of ways. He just gave me some half assed reply so I left nd started
hanging out with my other friends. I know this seems crazy but I swear everyntime I talked
to a friend he'd approach them righr after and introduce himself and be super nice,
almost as if he was trying to put on an act, all the while completely ignoring me.
it really bothered me because all my friends knew I really liked him and were coming
up to me telling me how great he is and cool and nice. All while he was treating me
like total crap. Then when the night was over he came up to me and said "I gotra go,
ill see you later this week...I mean, maybe" it was In a cruel and taunting way. Im just so
confused. I don't understand how he could flip so drastically and be so harsh towar d's a me
over an honest mistake. I get him being weirded out by what happened but I don't understand
why he had to be so mean and awkward about it. Am I crazy? Did I deserve to be treated that way?
Should i ALWAYS be wary of people who seem that into me so soon? How do i know who i can
Trust? Is he just insecure, or did I really do something that bad? I'm so confused!
"Did I deserve to be treated that way?
well, yeah . . .
He said he wanted to move slowly, he told you that often.
Then he saw a side of you that made him step back. Actually, he sounded shocked at your behavior. (Whoa a-a-a - need to re-think this girl.)
Now it looks like he is taking his time to watch to see if the "real you" comes back - or out -again.
Time will tell. Show him the "real" you. See what happens.
(It's always harder to correct something rather than start fresh.)
I don't think you deserve that kind of treatment. If you showed that you were sorry and you explained that what you did was a mistake. I could understand if he wanted to keep his distance or if he told you he just wants to be friends. But there's no need for him to be rude or cold to you and purposefully be nice to others. He's doing it to mess with you and hurt you because he was hurt by you calling him your exes name. He's being spiteful and you should give yourself time away from all that drama. Clearly you've had issues with a guy in the past and he hurt you so maybe you should focus on yourself and just try to be friends with this guy tell him that you still feel like he's taunting you and that it confuses you and hurts and if he's still being mean than he's not worth your stress. Simple as that.