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Should I still be patient or should I look for someone else?

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Relationship advice Story goes like this.. It was her birthday, and I try to do something somewhat special, I remember that she asked me to sing her happy birthday in Korean, so I recorded myself singing it and sent it to her by email. So while chatting I asked her if she received it, and she said yes and she asked me why I did it. I said that she asked me to do it, she said that she doesn't remember. So I said its ok, in its the past. Night now. She then asked me why am I being grouchy, and is it her fault for not remembering. I said its ok, but then she replied why am I being a grouch. I replied I'm sorry but I haven't had any sleep lately (which is true, I have insomnia), and I'm sorry for being a grouch. She then replied thanks for ruining my birthday and i don't want to talk to you.

I didn't reply, for a few days I have sending messages, she doesn't reply to them. At one time I said hi, and she said was sorry I still don't feel like talking to you.

I replied ok, take your time..

After a few days I said hi again, and she said the same thing and I asked her can we go back to the days we were before I'm really sorry. She said was she doesn't feel like talkimg to me..

I'm just being optimistic but I just need someone to tell me if I'm not going anywhere anymore..

We have been dating for 3 months and currently she is on vacation abroad with her family.. And she's coming back next month..

Should I still be patient or should I look for someone else?

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What the eff is her problem??? Ruining her birthday? How grouchy WERE you? Or were you not that grouchy and what she means is, thanks for making me feel GUILTY (which has now ruined my birthday). Well, surely that's her own fault for having failed to say only what she means and meaning only what she says? Anyway, so WHAT if the request had just been a throwaway comment at the time? Even if one didn't know it was coming, I think singing *anything* in her native tongue is a BLOODY LOVELY gesture you went to the trouble to do! Me, I'd have been thrilled!

I'm tempted to suggest she must have had PMT or was upset about something someone else did/didn't do and took it out on whomever else was first to get into her crosshairs (you). Well, that's called Kicking The Cat and is unacceptable behaviour between two lovers. And so especially is her still refusing to talk to you days later (do WHAT?!).

"Ugh!", basically. She's coming across like some spoiled little My Little Pony merchant!

I'm with you, though: I suspect (because I can hear your own suspicions between the lines) something you don't know about is going on behind the scenes. It's like she's using that petty little incident as her giant excuse to deliberately keep you at bay. Why? For what purpose?

On holiday WHERE?

Should I still be patient or should I look for someone else?

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PS: Stop texting and stop making further apologies. Even if you DID get grouchy (assuming it wasn't OTT) - who WOULDN'T when seeing their amazing gesture going totally unappreciated. She's the one in the wrong. So act like it and cease kowtowing to her, okay? The apology ball is now in *her* court.

Should I still be patient or should I look for someone else?

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Hi soulmate,

I did really feel bad and a little unappreciated.. Even though she didn't remember it.. Especially I'm not into Korean stuff, i have Korean friends, I'm just not into learning their language or anything. But I did it for her to try and sing it to her..

Anyway, I'm gonna take your advice.. I just don't know if I should persue her anymore. I really liked her though.. Before the incident, we would chat and call each other and tell stories about our day and stuff, we were pretty open to one another, and this happened..

Should I still be patient or should I look for someone else?

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"I'm just not into learning their language or anything. But I did it for her to try and sing it to her.. "

Well, OBVIOUSLY. And a woman who 'got' you and appreciated you would have been touched as hell. So what does THAT tell you?

This is the path new relationships take. You start off just fancy them, which is enough, and then you start focusing on whether your personalities, ways of operating, lifestyles, hopes, dreams, aims, goals, etc. suit you enough to keep you interested and 'feeding' (or re-stocking) the lust. Sometimes they do, sometimes they don't. The crunch point usually hits some time between Months 2 and 4 or, if the lust is very strong and keeps your minds basically out of normal operation, Months 7-9.

Right Qualities (yours), WRONG RECIPIENT. Probably close. But not close enough. "Neeext...!"

Should I still be patient or should I look for someone else?

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Thanks soulmate

Should I still be patient or should I look for someone else?

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You're bloody welcome and, the way you clearly think and approach things, you're going to make the next woman VERY HAPPY so don't whatever you do stop doing highly romantic, accommodative and respectful acts like that one! Just because THIS spoiled bint reacted negatively, does not-not-NOT mean the next one will. This is the mistake too many men too easily make.

Take, for example, this early conversation between me and now-husband (it wasn't any big deal but it serves as a prime illustration):

Me: So how come you don't do X with me?
Him: Because I did do it once with [ex] and she reacted badly [details].
Me: DO I *LOOK* LIKE YOUR EX? DO I *SOUND* LIKE HER? *AM* I HER?
Him: Oh, yeah. Heh. Sorry. [two days later did X]

But what if it HAD been a big deal and I hadn't had the patience and generosity to have gently enquired in the first place? Answer: SPLAT!

Her loss. Maybe that'll learn her.

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