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How to handle hearing from an old flame?

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Relationship advice In college, I met this incredible guy. We met through mutual friends at some party and neither of us were looking for a relationship at the time. (He actually had a girlfriend when we met, but not for long lol). We hung out many times with mutual friends but after a while it started to be just us. We connected very deeply over the course of the next several months. It was just a friendship though- we didn't date and we never slept together. But he told me he'd never had a relationship like this before, and I agreed. Looking back, I think we might have friend-zoned each other haha. We really were the best of friends. We shared our secrets, we had inside jokes, we were totally ourselves with each other, it was a great friendship!

So I was on track to graduate before him, and I did. Before that, we had kind of kicked around the idea of actually dating but knowing that I was moving to a different state after graduation, we decided not to. We remained friends for a while, but distance has a way of either bringing you closer together or pulling you apart. We were tight for a while, but the friendship kind of fizzled out. It didn't die completely. We'd text every now and then, or communicate via Facebook, but even all that stopped after a while.

Fast forward to now. It's been about 5 years since graduation and we've both moved on with our lives. All of a sudden, early one morning at work, I get a text from him. He says he misses me, he misses how we used to be, how close we were. I didn't know what to make of it at first, but yeah, I'd been missing him too. So we text back and forth for a little bit, and now it's kind of like we never stopped, like we picked right back up where we left off. But things are a little.... different. He has let it known that he did indeed have deeper feelings for me back then, and he does still have them. Here's the problem- he's got a girlfriend and they even have a very young baby. I don't know if it's that he's unhappy at home that he's suddenly connecting with me or what...

I don't really know what to make of all this...

How to handle hearing from an old flame?

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I think you are reading this right. He might be overwhelmed with the GF and now a new baby and is looking back on his carefree days - and POW, there you are.

Stay away from his need to re-visit the past. He is looking for an excuse to get out of his present state.


Just text back, "Yeah those were the good old days. Sounds like both of us have moved on . . ."

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