Online dating a guy but discovering he has a long term gf
About 6 months ago I decided to bite the bullet and try and meet THE ONE. So I joined a niche dating
website (paid) to meet someone who had likeminded interests and who wanted to settle down in later life.
I got chatting to a guy (ill call him David on here) who seemed really genuine, interesting, polite (quite well to do) from a nice family etc and more importantly he was keen on me, we exhanged emails for abouts 2 months and the emaols were really lovely and it was obvious we had loads in common.
As it was getting to the stage where we were going to exchange numbers I googled him. On facebook I could see that a female was included in some photos of his and there were also kids in the pics too. Oh her fb profile she had a pic of all 4 of them together. I was quite shocked given all the messages we had exchanged etc. I didnt mention I had googled him or suspected him of still being with someone. He then gave me his pim so relieved ive met youone number and because I was ao angry with him I just never ever texted him. That was back in September.
randomly end of November just 2 days before my sub is about to expire he sends me a msg asking if I ever met anyone and I replied no and said how good it was to hear from him. We got to emailing again and the messages were even more lovely and we started texting too. In the time that had elapsed and because I wasnt certain whether he was still with her or not I decided to see where it went hooing that maybe it was recently over and he just had some baggage. So we arranged a first date. And it was incredible. Amazing chemistry, like one of those dates from a movie. This all happened early december. The texting continued almost every day, him very keen and lovely and very amorous. Our second date the week before xmas was amazing too.I know he was extremely turned on as was I. Then I went away for 10 days at xmas and he went home. All over xmas we were texting every day, he started calling me darling. He said things like 'im so relieved Ive met you' he said he wanted to visit this place and take me with him etc. all very full on and I was so happy,
I still had a niggling doubt about the girlfriend but noticef she had rrmoved the family pic of them so thought that it was over. On 29 dec he suggested to pick mr up from the airport and maybe we could do something for nye. I was surprised he didnt already have plans but was over the moon and said yes so he said he would have a think about sone ideas and let me know the plan. He didnt respond back with the plan and ignored a msg i sent. I flew back and it wasnt until that eve yhat he finally sent a msg with a poor excuse about why he was inncommunicado. He also said his plan wasnt going to work out, he gad sn idea for where to take me for nye but owing to already having a b and b booked that he couldnt cancel could we do another eve instead. I was furious. I also noted the email was quite cold and he didnt apologise. Its been nearly 48 hours since i got that response. I havent responded yet. And he never msged me happy new year. I suspect he is with her in this b and b. But again all speculation and I dont know for sure.
so I neef advice on what to do, i really like him but am hurt and gutted that he could lie to me snd be so deceptive. Especially if there might be kids involved. Do I confront him? Message him now and try and see him again and confront him in person or assume the worst andvsend her a msg telling her what a creep he is...... please help I feel like fool.....
In later life? How old are you both - 12?
He exchanged emails for TWO WHOLE MONTHS WITHOUT ASKING YOU TO *MEET*???
There was your first giant clue, Scooby, because that action 100% contradicts the seeming surface genuineness. Did you not wonder why he wasn't gagging to meet his new-found supposed princess amongst women?
"I didnt mention I had googled him or suspected him of still being with someone."
"I still had a niggling doubt about the girlfriend"
NIGGLING doubt? Who do you think you're kidding? YOURSELF?
This obviously on-off, at-arm's-length girlfriend of his shouldn't need a mummy to tie her reality shoelaces for her, she's quite capable of completing her own journey to finding out why she persists with a giant commitmentphobic user-player such as him as attracts female counterparts or co-dependents. You just concentrate on YOU and YOUR reasons. If you like, you can start by answering the above questions.