Dropping the L-word!
I posted a topic a few days ago about hearing from an old flame (the details are there, too much to rewrite here). Anyway, I got a text from him at midnight saying Happy New Year. Not unusual, because I got a bunch of HNY texts at midnight. Anyway, long story short, he dropped the L-word. I'm like dude, are you drunk? (I mean it is NYE, lots of ppl were drunk haha) He says no, then goes into how he's liked me since we met, yada yada, and yeah, he loves me.
I want to ignore it. I want to write it off as drunk texting (because I really can't be sure he wasn't drinking). But I think its going to be really awkward if I do or if I don't....
What would you do?
Can you copy and paste in the link to your other thread for all the nice viewers at home including moi, please?
Can you also type out the exact text message exchange (censoring any names or other identificatory info if necessary) because I could probably tell whether he was drunk or/and sincere if I can see it. And then we can take it from there.
Ok TVOR (crackes knuckles)
Here’s my observations take it or leave it.
It was new years eve. You specifically told us He said I love you and that he’s liked you sense you met and then you said “yada yada” which I presume to mean he kinda laid his heart on the line. Was he drunk? Well I can tell you now, if you have to ask its probably true. But that’s not the only reason I have come to this conclusion. You two were friends for awhile a friendship strong enough that it lasted even after you guys got back in touch. But in all that time you never told us that either of your ever said or did anything that could constitute a lovers relationship, I believe you even said that it was a friendship. So just blurting it out in a text and oddly enough not a phone call at the very least makes me suspect a 90% probability that he was drunk. Cause if you were as close as you claim to have been, wouldn’t he have at the very least called to tell you verbally, to anyone that would at least be more intimate. Setting aside that fact that the average fully cognizant individual would seriously want to have an immediate reply so they wouldn’t be stressing over it. As a result they usually would unconsciously aware of all the psychology in the background happening, call to get that instant gratification of yes I love you too or no I don’t love you. And that’s of course assuming they would have no way of reaching the individual in which case they would say it face to face.
However when folks are drunk you can get them to tell you their credit card info its simply a matter of persuasion and choice of words. So yes I can almost guarantee you he was drunk. Now this doesn’t mean that He actually doesn’t “love” you. It seems like he really does have some emotions for you. You know for sure because someone who is drunk will also tell their deepest darkest secret. Why do you think guys go “drinking with their buddies.” EXACTLY cause yer buddy is gonna be sayn stupid things just like you so your both gonna push it aside as nonsense even though there is underlying truth to it. If your sober yet drunk enough to text your thoughts your screwed because you’ve only recorded those inner impulses. And that’s also why I don’t drink…
What would I do? Matter of fact what I did, was I told her that she already had chosen her bf which I completely understood. I hoped she would cause I was helping her get him back in the first place by advising her on how to do so. The two eventually had a child but she wanted more from me and I realized that I had become the new obstacle to hers and her boyfriend’s relationship. So to put it simply I bid her farewell and wished her a fruitful life. That’s what I would still do and what I have done.
TVOR, alcohol doesn't create, it unleashes. But granted, it can magnify. However, there's such a thing as Dutch Courage. As Keekay observes, that he couldn't even say it verbally in real time means the guy obviously doesn't have the b*lls - OR HIS HEART PROPERLY IN IT - even when/if emboldened by drink. However, PRETENDING to be drunk would justify that otherwise seemingly cowardly act nicely, wouldn't it.
I'm going to repeat the advice Susie gave you on that original thread:
I think you are reading this right. He might be overwhelmed with the GF and now a new baby and is looking back on his carefree days - and POW, there you are.
Stay away from his need to re-visit the past. He is looking for an excuse to get out of his present state.
Just text back, "Yeah those were the good old days. Sounds like both of us have moved on . . ."
Because now there's a definite pattern: he had a girlfriend yet SORT-OF struck up a relationship with you, and now he's (wait for it) got a girlfriend yet is SORT-OF striking up a relationship with you.
BECAUSE YOU'VE ALREADY PROVEN YOU'RE GAME.
Dump the dud and go get yourself a REAL one.
PS: What to text back: "And I love ice-cream".
Or she could text back, "I love soda..." gosh how inconsiderate of you Soulmate to not consider soda...
Hehehe I love soda.
Lots of food for thought here lol. Thanks.
Yes, lots for you to digest. Glad the 'tooth' wasn't too unpalatable and that you've managed to stay your bubbly self. (Double groan)