Husband have doubt
I hve problem about my husband
I'm a filipina woman and my husband is A.black american,
We get together last year march 10,2013
I hve period march 14,2013 I think march 17,2014 but I'm not sure if 17 or 20 ,
Aniway he let me try the PTest it was negative, after a few days we havinng we having sex
After sex I try to used the PTest again , I was pray that the result is POSITIVE,
So it's true it's was Positive I'm so happy that I give him baby
But when we go to OB to do check up
My first ultrasound dr. Say I'm 9 weeks and 4days,
He was starting thinking that I get pregnant before I got here in California
He always ask me if his the daddy
I said yes and I don't lie to him,
I'm always crying when he ask me if his the father
He really hurt my feelings all the time,
I feel stress and emotional,
He was plan to do DNA test for a baby
It ok to me if going to do that,because Im not lie or cheating him.
I give birth this dec,24 2014 hving a baby gurl
She look like me all, she doesn't look like his father
I know what he thinking that time I was remind him that if she wanna do the DNA test
That's fine I just want to make sure that his the father
And I never been sex anybody since I meet him.
I need advice for this problem,
Everytime he ask me about and he thinking that maybe his not the father,
It's really make me cry and emotional,
I feel like I don't want to take care my baby.
Ok, so im here at work thought I might skim the forum found this and had a few thoughts. Now I am highly uncomfortable around pregnant women so when one walks in I’m walking out. So I don’t observe them much as a result my advice/suggestion/ ideas are going to be somewhat… lacking. But I’ll give it a go any how take it as you will.
Here’s my thoughts and I seriously don’t mean to offend but eventually your going to have the baby and they’re all gonna be apologizing anyway. So if your being honest you got nothing to fear let them sweat it out. Your pregnant and I do believe it is required for pregnant women to go through a less stressful period (as much as applicably possible) during their pregnancy for health reasons.
The biggest thing that threw up a red flag to me was the very last sentence you said. “I feel like I don’t want to take care my baby.” Above that you said, “I'm so happy that I give him baby,” Those two sentences together make me wonder did you do all this for him or for both of you? If you did it all for him and for whatever reason things don’t work out or something happens are you ready and do you still want to take on the responsibilities of a mother?
I am also aware that your going through a tough time in your life concerning pregnancy and I have NO idea as to what that is like, so please take this as that.
(Oh! I see we have a duplicate thread and I've gone and responded to the other, less detailed one.)
When I was pregnant I had TWO seeming periods during the first and second months. It happens.
Forty weeks back from December 24th is 19th March. But then not all babies adhere to the 40 week standard gestation period, meaning it could be ever so slightly late or premature. Mine was 2 weeks premature YET HUGE. So that reverse calculation fits EITHER the 17th or the 22nd March or even the 14th.
The DNA test will certainly shut him up. But by then the damage will have been done. As Keekay implies, it sounds like the damage of his mistrust has already wrought its effects on you. But I wouldn't worry about feeling like you won't want to care for your baby. Once it appears, that feeling naturally will either instantly or in days disappear (usually instantly), with you well and truly HOOKED. It's own survival programming will ensure that.
However, I still think your partner's expressing a deeper issue because surely he's NOTICED you're perfectly fine with the thought of a DNA test and what that in itself too-clearly proves?
Another giveaway is that you've even REMINDED him to do the threatened DNA test - which a guilty woman would not - yet, oddly, he's not getting around to organising it. How convenient. So this means he would rather KEEP himself in ignorant wondering so that he can KEEP throwing an accusation at you that he knows full well upsets you, any time he feels like it.
Sorry, but he sounds like a bully and that this 'cat-kicking' behaviour is (hopefully ONLY!) down to the fact he neither agreed nor expected to become a father this soon into the marriage and cannot handle it, which from HIS immature perspective must be all YOUR fault (whereas I gather it was simply accidental due to not seeing it as necessary to use contraception?). That is very, very childish indeed. You're not his emotional punching-bag.
If I were you I would waste no time in arranging the DNA test MYSELF rather than waiting for him to (never) get around to.
PS: Try your hardest next time he throws it, NOT to get emotional and instead just say: "PROVE IT - TAKE THE DNA TEST. AND *THIS* MONTH, NOT NEXT OR NEVER!"
(It's known here as telling someone to either get on with peeing or get off the pottie.)
Sorry, SHEL, I'm an idiot! You've already HAD the baby.
Well, if you're saying you're finding it hard to feel like caring for her now that she's here, then that's no doubt due to the emotional stress husband's putting you under, meaning, you need to make an appointment with your doctor and explain what's going on. All of it. He or she will then be able to treat you for your reactive anxiety/depression (before it develops into full-blown post partum syndrome) so that you're better equipped, mentally, to withstand or deal with your husband's stupid attitude and snide remarks.
I'm really sorry your new husband seemingly has turned out to be such a d*ckhead.
You're not alone, though, so don't think you are. Your doctor will be able to provide you with all the support that's out there for new mums in your situation.