Here I go again. Should I move? again?
30 years ago I had a short marriage that produced a great son. This all starts with the end of the marriage... One day after work I got home and found my wife packed and ready to leave. I was devestated when I found out I could do nothing but let her go. So she moved to her home town 200 miles away. Well, I HAD to be a part of his life. So every other week for four years I would make the drive there and back twice, 800 miles. It was not easy but worth it! I finally had enough of the driving and quit my job, left the town I grew up in and moved to where he was. I ended up raising him from there on when his mom found out I wouldn't ask for support. Ok, now he is 31 moved away and doing well with a wife and a little one on the way
I have made a decent life here. 12 year common law marriage. Very nice home and 25 years at the same job. Not bad for just a high school grad. Now, we are splitting
. Anyway there isn't much to keep me here except the job. Big question......Should I quit my job, move back to my home town and hope for the best? My 86 year old mother lives there and does need help since my dad passed away over a year ago. Thanks for any advice.
Tell me what these things mean/how they could be:
1. SHORT marriage produces a baby.
2. ...but LET her go (as opposed to 'watch her go').
3. I *finally* had enough of the [16,000-miles-per-month over 4 years] driving.
4. "HAD" (unnecessary emphasis) to be a part of his life (as opposed to 'naturally, I wanted to be').
5. You being the one up for filing for financial support.
6. Her, conditions notwithstanding, allowing you to have main or sole custody of her supposedly precious baby.
7. Only common-law second marriage.
8. Splitting WHY?
9. Why *hope for* the best, why not 'make the best'?
10. Why can't you alone decide whether you should move back and why isn't the fact your mum needs help sufficient incentive on its own?
Yikes! I tried to convey the issue as short as possible to save people a bunch of boring reading. If I thought it would be broke down into line by line critiquing I wouldn't have bothered. Thought I could get ideas of what others might do in my situation.
The hell with it.
Sounds like you have trouble taking any kind of advice or criticism. Why post if you can't read responses objectively? There are several red flags in what you say and the moderator has a point. They are valid.
If you have nothing else to stay in that town for, then move. Just do it.
Curiouser and curiouser, said Alice...
Seems like a no-brainer here: your "job" of raising your son is done. Mom will need you - so move nearer to her.
What is unusual is your dismissiveness of the "12 year common law" relationship. Hardly a sign that concerns you, except for the
So - what would be a reason for you to STAY in this town?