Im young but i feel so old. When you have lived thru the darker side of life you begin to understand things a little differently. You are not going to be accepted no matter how much you might want to be or feel that you deserve to be. The fact is is that people will take you for granted and then some. SO what should you do about this? You can be of any race, size, shape, etc and still might not feel accepted. Well i think thats utter crap. We as human beings should be accepted no matter what we look like. When you close your eyes when your outside under the sun do you now still feel the sun? When you make someone cry is that not yourself crying? No matter what walks of life that we come from. We all deserve the same things as humans, as males and females. So if at any moment you feel that you are not wanted nor respected i say leave that situation behind you. YOU are beautiful, you do matter, and no matter what anyone tells you you are worthy. Things are not always as they seem. Cake might taste good and look good but after weeks of it you start to get sick of it and it doesnt help your body either. The same can be said about people. Just because something looks good doesnt mean it is good. But someone who is good will always be good. The true beauty is not about what people see, its about what you are, and who you are. Looks fade, beauty never dies.
Wolly not, Glasshopper. You're simply over-lingering on the wrong step. Common mistake. I'll explain with this analogy...
For every physical/tangible entity there is a psychological equivalent (actual fact). Intellectual and particularly emotional development whether due to independent, self-generated mental processing or with the aid of outside life event triggers, particularly upsets and traumas, moves you up the progress staircase by however many steps at a time relative to the extent of knowledge acquired. In between each set of steps is a landing, a transitional point where your mind applies the new portion of enlightenment to all that you previously thought you knew and understood (i.e. the pre-stored data files in your mental filing system get taken out, re-examined, re-jigged or updated or duplicated for multiple folders, and more correctly/precisely re-filed to suit, which I call catching up with your programme.)
When you receive however much of an upgrade, you're supposed to rise up the corresponding number of steps up to where likemindeds/equals are to be found. People on your level. Birds of a feather stick together. Life's hard enough without being a cat trying to fit in with sheep. That's not to say the step doesn't feature surface diversities. But regardless of superficial details like skin colour, etc., you are all cats.
However, due to laziness/apathy/tiredness or sentimentality or simply having failed to catch up with your own new programme, you can, as I say, remain stubbornly on the prior step instead of moving up.
Our minds establish facts using contrasts and comparisons. Because you're on a step that's 'beneath' your new grade, your fellow step dwellers start to strike you as however much dissatisfactory and inadequate to your new needs and appetite. They don't get you, fulfil you, teach you anything, inspire you, challenge you in positive ways...etc. They might even bore and frustrate or upset you or, worse, drag you down to a lower step. Highly likely. Because some don't get you and some cheated their way onto that step in the first place.
You naturally start to try to chivvy them to YOUR level. Can't be done. Only genuine self-betterment works. You move a Step 5 dweller up to Step 7 and they're not going to cope due to not being ready...and you'll feel the brunt of it. They'll disappoint you even MORE because you can now directly compare them to Step 7 dwellers and by blatant contrast see/feel all their 'faults and inadequacies' that much more clearly. Most of the time, however, a Step 5 dweller will refuse to budge in the first place, meaning, if they've always been your friend and you as yet lack any more fitting replacement, you'll stick around and consign yourself to this unhappiness and dissatisfaction, always feeling short-changed, let down, uninspired, maltreated, whatever..., rather than feel lonely.
Pack people (dogs) have it worse. Loners/leaders (cats and alpha dogs) cope better with temporary seeming loneliness on the landing because they're not as programmed to need company and are comfy with solitude.
We grow and learn most having gone through anything from a difficult period to a downright trauma. Growth/progress spurt. It sounds like this is what you've been through, now having reached a point of assimilation (all the data joining up into a chunk of greater knowledge/enlightenment/wisdom about yourself, how the world works, how you work in tandem with the world...).
We don't "make" friends, friends happen naturally. We can only speed up the process by putting ourselves out and about more, not trying to hide our vibes of (healthy/balanced) need and availability. We and someone on our wavelength of a matching state will be naturally drawn like magnets and whatever excuse employed to strike up a conversation... Likewise, we can slow down the process by reacting to our stress in sequestering ourselves away indoors or mentally indoors (non-receptivity signals).
Absolutely one hurts oneself when one hurts another. Because the two entities share an ever-moving interaction loop, meaning what goes around comes around, meaning if you maltreat another then ultimately you're maltreating yourself by mere delayed reaction. Certainly if your happiness in whatever way or extent relies on their happiness via emotionally being invested.
Sure, you can VISIT an old step or higher step, but birds of a feather/certain step who largely stick together find life more smooth-running. Granted, they also find life more sheltered and linear, less rich and, ironically, less testing (equals lesser development and staircase progress), plus those who fear or fail to make time/room for other people with differences and shun any interaction with them are refusing to step further up again. It's a case of comme ci comme ca regarding every cloud having a silver lining because by the same token every silver lining must have a cloud. So pick yer poison! Pick your step. Pick your future step to aspire to (and visit old steps to give any altruistic assistance out of loyalty in memoriam) and don't shy away from challenges.
As for beauty, even inner beauty, that's subjective and relative depending on whether you're looking up at or down on someone.
But I already know what's keeping you on X step rather than Y, don't I. The fact of you WAITING (until ?) (nothing that justifies waiting, I'll bet).
Dump the irrefutably self-proven dud, free yourself to move up, wait a bit....VOILA! You start to again get 'fed' as you 'feed' as generates more energy (and joie de vivre). The number 1 source of the most nutritious and calorific food is, of course, the mind and its manifestations of your romantic mate. You're as old as the man you feel ha-ha, does *not* strictly mean if you're partnered with a younger man, you'll feel younger. It's a double entendre. It means you'll feel as youthful as the *quality* of the man you regularly get to 'feel' as elicits quality from you as keeps you both moreover always adding positivity and mutual stimulation, as aids the next growth phase, to that loop.
Dump the dud. Move up to the landing. Assimilate. Receive the upgrading. Move to the higher step. Met an upgraded. Snog-snog-snog, Glug-glug-glug (champers), Grin-grin-grin... And then go on to (nicely) dump any lesser duds (outgrown friends). You'll never regret it, that's for sure.
lol i absolutely loved that. Made me laugh and i see your points. Thanks
Du ist welcommen, Frauline.
Inner beauty is not seen as easily as external beauty. But once a person experiences the inner beauty of a person the impact is much stronger than external beauty impact and lasts longer too. Find people with your same wave length and ignore the others who are not of your wave length.
Like you said cake feels good but only once in a while where as nutritious food is what we prefer and have daily.