Dying for her
i m single 28 year old male.
Four months back i met a women (married) trough social networking, after some days chatting and talking on phone we get close to each other, i fall in love with her after knowing all the things that shes not happy with her marriage and husband. we start doing video chats and i decided to meet her,i went her city to meet her as we lives another cities, we got physical n both love that shes very happy with me, we decided to plan for our future n m very serious about it, she told me to wait for one year she ll fix all the things about her marriage (divorce) n then come to me n i m totally ok with that coz i trust her n badly in love with her . suddenly few days back she told me thats shes pregnant (with her husband) and please forget me if u want we ll be frnds. frnds?????? my mind burst that time i did fight with her n said go away from my life. n now i missed her badly and want her to in my life i dont know what should i do? please help me, i feel like i will die without her
I'm sorry, but you got involved with a bored, MARRIED woman who was cheating on her husband, but still in a wife role. And now she is pregnant and is choosing to stay in her marriage. Now she wants to be "friends" with you.
Please see this for what it is. She has made her choice.
No - you won't DIE, but you will hurt for a while.
Find a SINGLE woman who can pay attention to you fully.
Ok… I am going to be very straight forward but its for your own good.
The number one thing that got me the most was when you said… “she told me to wait for one year she ll fix all the things about her marriage (divorce) n then come to me n i m totally ok with that coz i trust her n badly in love with her.”
Seriously… you don’t see anything wrong or off with that statement? Let me help you see it. There’s two words that come to mind. Self-centered and selfish, self-centered is where your focusing on yourself but in a non-negative fashion. Selfish is where you are focused on yourself and its very negative because you can only see whats past the tip of your nose. YOU bluesea are being incredulously SELFISH.
I’m floored shame on you. Your totally fine destroying a marriage and the beginnings of a family without remorse whatsoever just to satisfy a false dream that will not happen as she has now confirmed. Your being driven SOLELY on emotions controlled by testosterone. Do you really have no control over yourself?
Now the above being said, I understand that your not the only guilty party she shouldn’t have allowed it to go as far as it did. But one day you may find yourself facing your own children or someone young who is seeking council from you and your mind will be confounded as to how to help because you will know what you have done by cheating willingly and even eagerly and you will not have had the experience of being the better man and learning how to keep it at a friendship level.
Now you can either continue to pursue her and create more waves and issues for her, which ofcourse only proves you don’t love her your just interested in “being” with her. Or you can let her go because you actually really do love her and want her to be happy instead of in emotional turmoil.
I would be very curious to read your response.
Keekay:- I let her go, I m not disturbing her at all but really is there all my fault to fall in love with her? Should I not think y she chose me for her future? Y she broken all the promises suddenly? I know I made mistake but there is only me in this world who want to marry with a married women specially when she's not happy with her present life, may be right now she's emotionally for her baby n still love me or want to be with me, I stopped calling her even not a single text. Is there is no hope? What if she come back to me? Should I ignore her? M not able to think any thing
Ok i did acknowledge that it was not all your fault cause it does take two to cheat. So I am not throwing all the blame on you. But it only takes one to stop both from cheating. So theres that.
You tell me you have let her go but your emotions and words tell me the opposite. You have let her go physically but emotionally you are still attached. I think you and I both know if she came back to you, you would take her back in a heart beat proving that you have not let her go.
As far as hope is concerned with her, the only way there is going to be a you and her is if she gets a divorce which would be very unfortunate for the child now that is involved and you should not press her to get a divorce. Even if you do later on down the road she will come to resent you for it.So if she does show up again the best thing you could do is brake it off explain why it is necessary then ignore any further attempts of communication by her.
For awhile you wont be able to think about anything but her. But with time you will find someone else who will bring you an honest type of happiness one that you wont have to hide and one that will feel much better than this one thats already causing you pain.