Male 18.5 yo , never in relationship ,no friends
since I was 13 I had the feeling I had no real friends or company.
I had no peer that would put me 'above' of every other of his/her friends!
now I'm 18.5 . I go out 2-3 times a week but most of the times I am the one who proposes others to go out.
and when I do go out I don't like the people that are with me so much !
I know people I have fun with but we don't go out a lot !(they have other friends)
I'm also in love with a very beautiful girl for 2 years.
we went on a date only once and nothing happened.(I have told her to go out 10 times )
and I think of her every single day for hours.
I'm desperate ,not because I have a bad life but because I want to live life exactly like I wish.
I want to do preety much everything !
I'm also not in the mood to 'hit' other girls (although there are many which I like).
as a result I have never been in a relationship ,or had sex.
if all this was kinda confusing,my important problems are : 1) the love of my life doesnt want me,2) I want to have many 'short relationships' but I don't do anything to accomplish it 3) I need to have around me people I find exciting,and need them to find me exciting too !
Hurrah! Good news: All these issues are "fixable" i.e. will change if you make the effort.
1. Love of life" - no, not really. Sounds like an unfulfilled crush that you really don't know exactly its status. Tell her you are going to ask her out ONE more time, then do that. If she says no, then accept that and move on to . . .
2. Short relationships . . . . go AHEAD. Ask someone to study with you, go for coffee, go to the gym , etc, etc. Keep asking lots of girls. Enjoy the difference in each one. Open your eyes to all of them.
YOU must make an effort to change your life. You can do that by . . . .
3. surrounding yourself with people you find exciting. Great idea. Change friends. Join a different club or sport. Look around - there are many exciting people who would love to meet you, too.
You are probably going to live until around late 80's. That's over 70 years more! Make them how YOU want them.