Shall i assume he isn't interested? Very confused at what he wants
I have been talking to this guy for a few weeks now, and over the holidays he was away from christmas. We talked every day on and off and also spoke on the phone. It appeared we had so very much in common, and it almost seemed a bit too good to be true. We have the same sense of humor, our views on things seemed to be the same, and just talking to him made me feel great and he said he felt the same. We both said we really hope the connection and chemistry was the same in person as it was on the phone and in our online communications via chat. We also both said that if there was no connection in person romantically, we would at the least like to remain friends. We finally went on a date on Saturday night. We went out for dinner and had a lovely time, and then he asked me after if i wanted to go back to his to hang out (he lives walking distance from the restaurant). So we went back to his and just had a really nice time chatting, watching random funny clips and just enjoying each others company.
As we are sitting there watching tv he keeps looking over at me. I can see from the corner of my eye he keeps looking, and sometimes i would look back at him and smile. He then asked if i was ticklish and started tickling me. He then eventually put his hand on mine and we also cuddled. I am a little shy, but we appeared to get on really great and i thoroughly enjoyed the night. He did not attempt to kiss me or do anything else sexual at all which i liked as i thought it showed manners (unless of course he didn't make a move because he didn't feel any attraction).
When i got home i let him know i arrived safely and said i enjoyed the night and he said he did too. The next day we talked and i said i enjoyed cuddling and he said he also did. He asked around 2pm what i was up to and i replied to which i had no reply and nor was he online after that for 7 hours. (We have each others numbers but usually talk through fb messenger as we just find it easier). I found this a bit weird as we are usually in touch with each other frequently throughout the day and reply every couple of hours. He then got on later and read my reply to his previous message but never replied back.
This morning he messaged me back saying he had a nice weekend and just chilled out and decided to turn off all devices as it is nice to just unplug sometimes and he attempted to read and then fell asleep. I kind of read into this that he didn't want to talk to me as it seems a little out of character for him to randomly decide to unplug devices and not been online after all his previous behavior and how he engaged with me. Some other people said that it may be wise to suggest another meeting to spend more time with him seems all this communication online etc can be taken the wrong way, so i sent hi a message saying i was thinking of grabbing a bite to eat tonight if he was interested, to which he replied "I appreciate the offer but i think i am just going to hit the gym tonight and have a quiet one," to which i haven't replied.
Before our date we spoke a lot and we both had long term relationships before this. He said to me he hasn’t really met any girl since his last that he likes enough to make his girlfriend. So i guess my question is do you think i am being paranoid or does this sound like a fade? I really like this guy but i don’t want to waste time thinking he likes me if he doesn't. I also know it is a completely bad move on my part to ask him if he does. His behavior seems very inconsistent on our date to how he is acting now.
Also, how would you move forward from this? I never replied back to his message because i don't really know what to say and felt it was a brush off. Would just not responding look like i am sulking or shall i just leave it and not respond back? I am a bit in "screw you then" mode right now, although it is not his fault if he doesn't have feelings, i just wish if he doesn't he hadn't acting that way on the date.
Yeah no wonder you're confused. This is pretty confusing! There are a few possibilities I see - I do think he's attracted to you, otherwise, he'd not have asked you over and then tickled you. Clearly you get along well online and maybe in person you haven't figured out after only one date, how to be as genuine as the safety of a screen affords us. He may have wanted more (physically), but was unsure of how to read your responses to his advances. Erring on the side of politeness is a good thing for sure! ....If that's actually what he was doing. Maybe he just realized that he wasn't going to get sex and gave up?
I'd definitely recommend less online time with him and more in-person time. It's really easy to extend the very little effort it takes to reply to a text or Facebook message. Ask him out and if he's interested in seeing you again and eager to get together, then keep going for it! If he's wishy-washy or has other things to do, then I'd say cut your losses and keep looking.