I was happily married for 17 years. We started having trouble.He finally moved out around the 23 year mark. We have been divorced for about 3 years now. He is remarried I still have not dated . i have been on line on dating websights on and off. In the years I have spent looking online I have only been on 3 dates, and have been stood up twice. I am very picky about who I chat with on those sites. If you don' t have a picture I won' t chat. I figure my picture is up and recent. I should know what you look like too. I went on my third date just last week. Apparently I had put this guy on my favorites list last summer when I wasn't even a member. Which I often am not. ( I don't like the idea of having to pay to find a date). Well I got a few e- mails that someone was interested and likes my pictures, profile etc. Curiosity got the best of me and I decided to sign up again. The picture of him was nice looked around my age and seemed to be man I would be attracted to. A fun happy guy in the picture( he only had one ) Like I said I went on my third date. The man was very nice and we got along really well. We had a lot in common and we talked over coffee for 3 hours. We agreed that we would go out again. My problem is this...... He does not look the way he did in the picture. I think the picture may have been taken up to 10 years ago. I feel like I am out with my uncle. I would like to go out with him again as he seems to be good company. But I am not attracted to him and I don' t want to lead him on. I feel like I am being really selfish and not open minded. I don' t want to hurt his feelings. I don' t know what to do. Any thoughts?
If you have any kind of respect for him, you WILL tell him the way feel about him as soon as possible. If you do so, you have the chance of actually keeping him as a friend.
On the other hand, some women (I absolutely do not know if it's your case or not) are just too picky. A relationship based solely on physical attraction is shallow and probably won't last.
I would suggest you tell him you are not ready for a relationship, don't know what you are looking for in a partner yet but would love to keep him as a friend. You might, or might now, develop something deeper with him and you won't hurt him.
Thank you. That sounds very smart. I can let him know I enjoy his company but not ready for a relationship. If I get to know him well enough something may develope, or that fact that I think he looks much older may fade away. I don't think I am too picky. I find all types of men attractive. That was only our first date .