I hate the fact that I've sunk to this level of posting my problems through social networking but I'm desperate. Last year was the worst year of my life my aunt and uncle both died within a month apart my 2 dogs I've had for 12 years both died my girlfriend who I had been with for 8 years left me I have no friends anymore which is mostly my fault because of all the rough times I was going through I ended up running them off i have no family near me my exs family was mine but that's not the case anymore and I'm in a town surrounded by her family and friends I have a job I literally hate every second of but I've found myself working over time just to stay out of my house that has nothing but memories of my ex in it which I find ironic that I'd rather be somewhere I hate just to be away from home I wake up every morning hating life hoping today might be the day I die I feel like a robot just going through the motions I pretty much work alone then come home and set alone just to get up in the morning to do it all over again and I constantly think of my ex and how she was able to move on to someone else within 2 weeks its been 7 months now and hasn't gotten any better I just turned 26 and spent my birthday with my dog she got me last summer and I have 2 emotions depression and anger that's all I ever feel and I also have very bad social anxiety I've made so many mistakes over the past year and lost so much I've tried talking to people and tried medication but nothing has helped I don't know what to do I feel so lost right now i need someone to help me please
I felt the same way a few months ago. I was depressed for months because my grandpa died, a month later, I hurt my best friend and we didn't talk. And then I lost touch with myself and I was'nt the silly girl I always am. I pushed my boyfriend away (who I'm trying to get back). I made myself so miserable, I hated my life. I felt like complete trash. I have almost everything back now
Hi I really feel for you I too am going through a version of depression and anger and hurt. It will be ok though, just remember it will pass.. Only its up to you on how quickly that will happen. If you don't put yourself in a different environment it may take much longer. Visit another town for a while. Sign up for volunteer work. Church groups can help even, and believe me I'm not the church going type, although I do love and believe in Jesus even though I was brought up with my dad a hard atheist and my mom hardcore believer. Total opposites. (Not trying to tell you anything, just that spirituality is 100% real) Anyways, if you put yourself around new people and occupy your mind with new activities it may help. My god I sound like the stuff I've read and heard. It would be nice if you kept us updated on your life. Just whatever you do, don't lose sight of happiness again. You'll be ok again.
I do try and get away I go to my parents house on the weekends and go to church but it's kinda pathetic I'm 26 and go hangout with my parents on weekends but I have nothing else to do none of my so called friends ever wana hangout they never return my calls or text messages and the bad thing is that's what I really need right now is a friend but no one wants anything to do with me
just try to stay postive, i know how stupid that may seem but it works, even though your family's lives have ended doesnt mean yours has. just remember they are up in heaven watching over you and they dont want you feeling like this
I know but it's hard to stay positive right now. I've went from enjoying life to hating every second of it. I feel like I'm going to be alone for ever I don't have anyone to talk to but my dog I needa start my life over but don't even know where to begin
I can certainly empathize. Its hard to help yourself when feeling this way. When things are good they ever stay good. Same with bad stuff.
I try to help myself as much as I can (anxiety makes it even harder) but I feel that things will change naturally
And whatever bit I can do to help will just make things change a bit sooner. Time we need to be patient with time
Read this book 'feel the fear and do it anyway' that will help with your social anxietys and tbh, may even push you to go try new stuff and meet new people. I read it a few days in a row in the library when I was feeling anxious and getting dizzy spells and severe panic attacks.. reading this book, made me realise what the issue was and I started doing things that I was afraid of (including ignoring my fear of upsetting people.. by which I don't mean I went out and deliberately upset people, but I did realise that not everything I thought would be an issue to folk, actually was.. I never gave other people enough credit before imo)
Anyway, it's not a magic cure but it is laid out well and did help a lot.. also I would say, when you wake up feeling rubbish in the morning.. there's an inspirational Arnold Schwarzenneger video floating about.. it asks the question Who do you want to be.. not What, but who.. listen to it, it really makes you think and shoving that in your ear in the morning as soon as you wake up, will make a difference from the ritual of bad thoughts you've started getting into the habit of now.
Rookie, you are not alone! There are many of us out here who suffer from Depression (with a capital D!). My husband is always telling me, "When I feel like that, I have to go walk 5 miles. It's all that helps." Yeah, that helps him. It doesn't help me. He doesn't get it. Depression isn't something you can turn on and off, and although there are many ways to interrupt a depressive cycle, it's hard to want to do any of those things when you're in the middle of one.
Maybe it's time for a total life change. You hate your job, have no ties to your community and have constant reminders of your ex. Consider brushing off your resume and looking for a new job. Make it a priority. You don't even have to decide where you want to live - just start sending out resumes. Let that become your job when you are not at work.
Also, you said you've talked with people, but you didn't mention a professional therapist. If you don't have one, I encourage you to find one. Those of us who suffer from this disease need to have safeguards in place for when it hits. Let someone help you get yours aligned.
Best of luck - keep in touch!
"I've found myself working over time just to stay out of my house that has nothing but memories of my ex in it which I find ironic that I'd rather be somewhere I hate just to be away from home I wake up every morning hating life hoping today might be the day I die."
When I was about, yeah, 26 or 27, I was in a town I despised, a job I didn't like, and a boss who didn't like me.
Then I lost the job, and was not around people anymore, because, on my own, I'm a loner. Within a few days, I was depressed.
Within a week, I was so depressed, I didn't think I would get out of it.
Along with the depression, like you,came anger, which was mixing with the isolation. I was in triple trouble: Depression, anger, isolation, no job, no hope of socialization. Stewing in my own juices. So what happened?
All of that hit a boiling point, and I had a nervous breakdown. The depression and anger became so heavy that I cracked wide open.
I got to a psychiatrist and some medicine, and pulled out. You don't really want to go there.
What I didn't do was help myself. When you're depressed, etc., it's very difficult to do that. It's difficult to make decisions.
What I tell my psychiatrist now is:
"Looing for a helping hand, what about the one on the end of your arm?" What I mean is, why, decades ago, was I siting around for 3 or 4 weeks while I was getting more and more depressed? Why wasn't I trying to help myself?
Well, I was the youngest of 3 children, who also had a mother and a father, and I was always use to someone helping me, not me helping myself. I was 225 miles from my hometown, where my mother was, and I was supposed to be making it on my own, and at 27 or so, I wasn't making it, and I didn't know what to do. I was waiting for someone to help me, and no one showed up.
26 or 27 is when many mental illnesses can hit.
I'm hoping you'll do what I didn't. Get some help. This is what I should have done: (I'm reliving my life in yours, trying to see if I get it right this time.)
1. Look in the phone book or on the computer yellow pages for psychiatrists in your hometown.
2. Pick one, male or female, as you choose.
3. Call the psychiatrist.
4. The receptionist will take it from there, there will be no problem.
5. Go to the appointment.
6. Talk to the psychiatrist. He or she will be versed in what to you is a strange new land.
7. He or she will make a recommendation for what might can be done for help.
8. You decide what to do about the advice.
9. If there's medicine that he or she says can make the condition improve, you hope, consider taking the medicine.
10. Depression/anger is treatable, you're so glad to know.
11. Take the medicine to see if it makes you feel better.
12. Thank your lucky stars for anti-depressants and for psychiatrists, who put up with a bunch of kooks, I mean, you and I, for what would be we do without them, the medicine or the psychiatrists?
13. We'd do what my maternal grandmother did: When we went to visit in someone's house, we would search through their medicine cabinet for any medicine that might make us feel better, and we'd be taking strange medicine, none of which would work.
14. We'd end up in a state mental hospital, or in bars, trying to drink our problem away, wondering when they were going to come up with relief for manic-depression, which wasn't going to happen in her lifetime, and would be found in England before America: lithium. Sanity saving, lithium. At long last, peace.
I realize, it takes other parts of the puzzle. But one of the pieces is your brain. Your brain is reaching out for help: listen to it.
I know, a good job, a girlfriend, would also help, are other pieces of the puzzle. But the first one is your and your brain. Once you've gotten that taken care of, then be positive that you can take care of the others.
But that's another story. Being positive that you can get better, that is.