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First date... or no? Confused

Posted by
on Jan 16 2015 at 08:14
Member since: 16 January 2015
Relationship advice Ok..I need some serious advice so I'm hoping someone can help me. I'm 22 and I've been talking to a guy the same age as me. We went to school together and back then, I liked him but was shy so rarely talked to him. He sent a friend to ask me out for him but I declined, as, mentioned before, I was pretty shy. Fast forward to now, and we have been talking on social media and texting. He asked me out again about 2 years ago and I agreed but told him it would have to be later in the evening because I had something planned on the day he wanted to go out. He texted me at like 8 P.M. Asking if we were still going out. Um, no? I didn't even respond as I was aggravated he waited so late....whether it bad planning on my part or him just being a guy...we didn't go out. He asked me out a third time and I agreed. He seemed giddy which was sort of unusual for him...he seemed giddy talking online and said we should go out. I agreed. The closer the weekend got, I didn't hear from him again? I never mentioned it because he asked and I accepted, the ball was in his court. That made me aggravated and confused so the next time he texted me, I ignored him. However, then he messages me on Facebook, and I know he could've seen I read his message, so I responded. He asked me how I've been (about a month had passed since previous encounter). Sure enough, he asked my plans for the weekend. I told him that this weekend I am seeing friends one day but other than that, nothing. He said we should catch a movie and I said ok sure (do I ever learn?!?) he talked to me three days after that in a row. The fourth night I didn't hear from him. The fifth night I messaged him, asking about his day. I told him I would be seeing a friend Friday but we could go out Saturday if he wanted. He said sounds good to me!!!! I said ok great and that was it? He didn't message me anymore. So now it's Friday, I'm supposed to go out with him tomorrow and he hadn't really set any plans in where or when to meet. I'm so confused he always seems so giddy to ask me out, then slowly backs off? One thing I wanted to mention is in school he was VERY shy, and I imagine he still is. I don't think he's had a girlfriend since high school but I do know he is a good guy, he has a good family, comes from a religious background, etc. so basically the 1st time he asked me out- I declined. 2nd time-I didn't follow through, 3rd time-he didn't follow through, 4 th time- we will see I guess. Of all the guys that have asked me out in the past 5 months since my ex and I split, this guy is the only one I like even a little bit, so I wanted to give it a shot, but I'm stressed and confused. If he doesn't message me tomorrow night, do I message him asking what time to meet him the next day? I don't want to seem pushy...I mean he asked me out. Or do I just let it go until Saturday and if he texts me, just go with it? It just seems odd, he always seems excited to get to finally go out, but once I agree, he backs off? Could his shyness have anything to do with it? Heck, I'm shy too but I don't do that. I even thought where I didn't follow through the 2nd time he asked me out, he could've wanted to get me back? But he did once, why try again? Help. I'm used to guys planning every little detail of a date, not asking me out then going MIA.

First date... or no? Confused

Reply from
on Jan 16 2015 at 08:31
Member since: 11 December 2014
Okay so something is a bit odd here, what does he have to gain by asking you out and then not going out with you? If like you say, he's shy, he may be bottling out at the last minute and since you don't seem all that bothered to him, maybe he doesn't feel too bad doing it.

Is he worth making an effort for? Some of the nicer guys *are* shy, so you may want to give him a chance to come out of his shell. If you do WHY AREN'T YOU TEXTING HIM FOR TIME AND PLACE TO MEET? I'm not saying to wear the trousers in the relationship, but this one seems to need a bump start and you're just sitting there looking at the flat battery.

If you do go out and he's a good'un then at the end of the date, talk to him about what you expect from a guy when it comes to dating. Make it clear you won't be chasing him, if he doesn't make it happen, there will be no second date. You want a MAN not a child! If he can't get it together he's not worth your time Lucy, move on.

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