I know I am a foolish person because I am sharing all this with someone very late. But I trust you thinking it is a private website and no one will get to know of it. I am a depressed physically and emotionally abused 17-year-old geeky immature (at least according to my parents) Indian girl (you can call me r*), tired of problems in her life, and want your valuable suggestions.
I was not a geek, depressed person since childhood. I have become like this, thanks to my parents, whose life's aim seems to be putting me down, beating with whatever they find and torturing me regularly. My body pains from the beatings they give me. The reasons for all this are numerous:
1) They are never satisfied with my performance, whatever I do to satisfy them.
2) They have already told me that I am a burden for them, and it is their mistake to give birth to me. They want me to leave the house and go to hell or die.
3) Maybe they take their life's stress out by beating me and blaming me for everything that happens anywhere in the world.
Actually the reasons are infinite, and maybe you would think that I am a loser with no talents and a good-for-nothing fellow with no aim in life.
Yes, you think right. I have really become a loser now. But, I was not so since birth. Years of torture and pain has made me a loser. I have no one in life to share about my pain:
1) Obviously, no parents; they are the ones who torture me.
2) I have a younger brother, who is my parents' apple's eye, (lives a king's life) and has never ever supported me, seeing me in this horrible state. He laughs seeing me cry.
3) None of my friends have a life even near to this, and so I feel embarrassed in telling them about mine.
4) My parents' relatives have never ever supported me, even though I have shared this with them many times.
And thus, I am sharing this with you. Hope I get good suggestion from you, because I have no hope from anyone else...I am absolutely helpless... please help......
Please talk to your school counselor or your family doctor about the physical abuse.
You are in my prayers.
But, I am a poor girl with no money for myself. I am scolded, taunted and beaten by my parents if I dare to spend money. In my region, the doctor charges a lot, even for giving minor suggestions, and I have absolutely nothing to spend...
The school counselor in our school whose actual duty is to help students and solve their problems, has never helped anyone throughout his career as a counselor. So I have no hope from him too...
I request you all to please help this helpless girl, by giving your valuable suggestions.
Please someone help me with your suggestions....
You are not alone. If you need help or have questions about child abuse, call the Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453) then push 1 to talk to a counselor. The Hotline counselors are available 365 days a year to help kids. You can call this number if you live in the United States, Canada, Puerto Rico, Guam or the U.S. Virgin Islands.
There WILL NOT be a charge for the call on your telephone bill if you use a regular phone or a pay phone. If you use a mobile phone or cell phone, there may be a charge and it may show up on the telephone bill. (Don’t use a mobile or cell phone if you want to be sure your call is a secret.) Do not make prank calls to the hotline.
As you are still only 17 you are classed as a kid. Find a public phone and call them, you did the right thing in seeking help. Don't stop now! Be brave again.
Thanks a lot for your suggestions, VIOLETTE, but I am an unfortunate girl from the country called India, where such private and helpful services are not available...
So you see, I am so so helpless....
Please help me to get of my problems...
My apologies, then instead I suggest you try this:
CHILDLINE is India's first 24-hour, free, emergency phone service for children in need of aid and assistance. You can dial 1098, the toll free number to access our services. We not only respond to the emergency needs of children, but also link them to services.
Thanks VIOLETTE, but can you please tell me how exactly Childline helps those abused teens and kids, if they call them?
Quoted from their website "After a child/concerned adult dials 1098, a CHILDLINE member who depending on the nature of the call, provides appropriate assistance.
It may vary from counselling over the phone for emotional support and guidance, information and referral to services for the caller, to information about CHILDLINE.
In the case of an emergency it may require reaching out to the child immediately. A CHILDLINE team then rushes to the child within 60minutes of the call and appropriate help is provided. This may range from taking the child to a shelter/hospital, protection from abuse, repatriation to intensive counselling etc.
After the emergency needs of the child have been addressed, CHILDLINE explores options with the child to study, learn a trade, go back home etc. Based on the decision of the child, CHILDLINE links the child to an appropriate organisation in the city."
It's free for you in India currently from all BSNL/MTNL lines. Like I said before you've been brave enough to ask strangers for help, now ask someone who lives in your country who knows more than we do. You can do it :)
Thanks a lot, VIOLETTE, but the problem is that I am afraid whether all this will work well or not...If it doesn't work out, whole of my life would be ruined, because you know, how the state of law and order is in our country...
Also, in my mind, I have set a specific date (sometime in June), for taking action. If things don't work improve until then, I will willingly take your suggestion....
One question, I had to ask...will childline help me after I turn 18? This answer is needed by me because I will turn 18 this year in April...
Hello dear r*! Your situation is awful, feel sorrow for you. I can't understand your parents, and I think it 's time to give up your former life and begin the new one, without cruelty and may be your parents. Do you have a possibility to do so? May be you should find friends, and they would be pen friends. Moreover, you can find somebody who will be like real good parent, adult friend. You may do it on dating site like https://kovla.com/datings/us/lynn,
may be then you find a new home...Think about it.
Thanks for you comforting words, ZELINA...
Your idea of finding a pen friend is awesome, and I will do so at the earliest. But finding somebody who will be like my real good parent, adult friend, is impossible here, as, nowadays, people are selfish and they don't have the energy and time to care for a useless and helpless girl like me...
Hello? anyone there? No reply from anyone?
Does nobody have solutions to my problems?
Hi again R,
I feel that I need to speak frankly with you. I think the person who can help you most is and is choosing not to is YOU. You've decided not to do anything for 6 months to help yourself, but expect a reply for someone to help you after a single day. It seems obvious to me that you are (understandably) not happy with the way things are right now and want things to change as soon as possible.
I don't know how Childline operate other than what I have read online. I would suggest calling them since it's free and asking them about their services, as a child you would not be turned away for having questions. I understand that India is not like the US or the UK, but you cannot write off services in India if you have not yet tried them. It is much harder for us foreigners to help you than for them.
An encouraging note - not everyone is selfish, there are non-profit organisations in India, who exist purely to help the vulnerable, not to help themselves. There are good people and bad people in every country and I'm sorry that you have been unfortunate to live in an abusive family, it is not right that they treat you this way, but you don't have to take it. Your life won't necessarily be ruined because you look for something better, I know you are scared of things getting worse, but I encourage you to take the risk and get more information before making any decisions.
See, the reason for not calling them now and waiting till June is that I have to appear in CBSE class 12 board examinations that take place in March. Its the most crucial test in India and no one can get any good job anywhere without a good result in these examinations.
My one mistake/complaint can make up my parents' mind to cancel the examination card and then everything will be finished... No examinations, no admission to any college, no job and finally no independence, that I want in my future, as I will have to stay in my parents' house and bear all this forever (I am not even sure whether they will keep me in their home for my whole life or leave me on roads).
By end of June, I think all admission formalities will be finished and I will no longer have to beg money for admission and other important stuff. Then I can call these organizations to help me...
I absolutely agree that not everyone is selfish and there are non-profit organisations in India, who help victims, but the thing is that these people, though work hard to reach many parts of India, but they end up reaching only the main parts of India. Victims like me can never have access to such organizations...
I am willing to take the risk and call some organization for help but when? At least one member of the family observes my actions closely and tells the others about it (especially my bro, who looks so innocent, but actually is its opposite). I sometimes feel that I have done a crime and that's why they are treating me like a criminal....
Anyway, thanks a lot VIOLETTE, for your thoughtful suggestions...
I understand your reasoning now. Could you and your friend concoct a plan to get you to a phone somehow where you will have privacy? Preferably with a legitimate excuse for accounting for your time? Even if the helpline cannot reach your area physically, they said they offer over the phone counselling and maybe they could give you some coping methods and/or practical advice. Again, they will understand your situation better.
Whatever you are made to feel, your family have no reason or excuse for treating you this way and you need to keep reminding yourself that you are worth more than this and that you DO NOT deserve this. Don't let thm take your self worth and your confidence too. If it helps you, keep talking, we'll still be here to listen x
Thanks, VIOLETTE, I think I will try this your advice with my friend...
And, as you suggested, I will not let them take my self worth and confidence.
Also, I wanted to thank the whole peoples-problems community, as talking to people like you all, makes me feel much much better..