PeoplesProblems Logo

Broken Hearted

Default profile image
Me and my girlfriend are sexually active and no problem talking openly about sex but she is a devoted catholic. There was this one time she invited me to a motel because we got wet in the rain but she clearly told me she doesnt want to have sex because she is not in the mood and she wants to just watch the papal mass on tv. When we we're watching the papal mass was almost over. It was already at the giving of bread and I thought she doesnt want to watch anymore because she just closed her eyes and was just laying at the bed. Horny as I am i made a move by kissing her lips gently and eventually escalated to something more. She wanted me to stop but i was teasing her and making her more horny and eventually we had sex. She wasn't resisting while we we're doing it and I can see that she enjoys it and she was telling me to fuck her more. After sex I was asking her if she's mad and she told me that she is very mad at me and hate me. So I was trying to say sorry and she was just hiding her emotion and acting cheery. When we got home she said she was very tired and she wants to sleep already we told our i love yous to each other. The next morning she messaged me that she wants to break up with me for what we did yesterday and she feels disgusted to herself and to me. She doesnt even want to meet me anymore or to break up in person. She told me she doesnt love me anymore for what i did. I'm confused and broken that just like that she want to end it. Please help. I dont know what to do.

Broken Hearted

Default profile image
Ok... wheres the confusion? you specifically said... "she is a devoted catholic." and "She wanted you to stop." You didn't respect that she was a devoted catholic to begin in the relationship and you didn't listen to her in the first place. Now she has a lot of anger towards you because of what she feels is probably a huge no no in her belief system. But also, what you now remind her of, a mistake in judgment.

What you don't do is repeat that mistake and learn from this experience. A relationship can't be based off of sex otherwise its going to end exactly as you have just experienced or something similar. You also need to learn that you can't push women into sex otherwise they'll just end up hating you for it. Matter of fact you can't push anyone into ANYTHING not just sex, because again they will resent you for it.

The moment she said "stop," you should have. Anything that happens beyond "stop" that doesn't comply with that means sexual assault in a court of law. Cause if I were a lawyer I would easily be able to convince the jury that you coerced her intentionally into sex. That would be free money for the lawyer, playing victim for someone else with that kind of a story would be a cake walk. Because facts are, jurors will be more willing to assume she was the victim. It's simply a fact of life that men have a reputation of taking advantage of women more often than women take advantage of men. (I'm not going to say whether she was or not or anything. I really don't care to get into that kinda debate.) But I would just be grateful that she doesn't hate you enough to take you to court for all your worth.

Broken Hearted

Default profile image
Is she now saying that you "forced" her to have sex? (implying that you may have even raped her)?

or

is she mad at herself for giving in to her own sexual desires and is blaming you for being a too-willing partner?

Broken Hearted

Default profile image
Mad at herself for giving in to her own sexual desires and is blaming me for being a too willing partner and the one initiated the sexual tension.

Broken Hearted

Default profile image
Leave her alone for a while - at least a week of no contact. See if she re-connects with you - or goes in hiding.

Do you really want to deal with a girl who says NO but means YES?

PS I hope you used protection/birth control. Something tells me she won't take care of herself in that way, either.

What are your ages?

This thread has expired - why not start your own?

B-3