Should I date him?
ALEXA_SMITHHH - Jan 28 2015 at 00:50
hey guys I'm Alexa and I was hoping someone, ANYONE. could help me with boy advice. so there's this guy that told me he likes me through text. I told him I kind of like him as well. he's super nice, sweet, would never make me do anything I'm not comfortable with, etc. ever since, I've been really awkward around him in person and I can't help it. but basically if I were to date anyone, I would wanna date him. the thing is, I just don't wanna date him cause then I have to do stuff like kissing, holding hands, hanging out, introducing him to my parents, talking w him alone. I've never done any of those things which is really embarrassing cause I'm 16. I don't want him to find that out and I'm so awkward around guys! I don't know him THAT well, and I don't wanna have nothing to talk about w him. my friends who are friends w him are getting mad at me cause I'm apparently leading him on. they're saying they're gonna tell him I just wanna be friends soon. I don't know what to do!! I really like him and kinda wanna date him, but I don't not wanna have enough time for it or screw things up. and I don't wanna have to kiss him and do that stuff cause he will prob be able to tell I've never done that. (but I told him I've kissed people before cause I panicked when we were talking about it.) I don't want him to know I'm lying or that I haven't, it's embarrassing. I just don't know what to do. someone please help!
you know your behaviour is very normal, u may think its weired but thats a normal behaviour when one is around a person whom they like. Now, if you dont want to take things to further steps, just hang in the area where you are comfortable...You have to also know the guy whom you wanna date that he likes you or not... If he likes you, he will understand and will wait for you to open...dont rush and dont compare your relationship and friendship with others...all relationships and friendships are unique....enjoy yours and keep on hanging around...Don't rush!
I agree don't rush unless you want to but if it's just the embarrassment that is stopping you, I feel the need to ask - do you trust this guy? Because if you do and he is genuinely nice he won't care that you've never had a boyfriend before if you fess up and admit you lied because you were embarrassed. Guys love when girls are vulnerable with them, he'll probably feel honoured to be your first. I remember being a teenager and worrying about kissing and stuff but believe me, it comes very naturally. It's not that unusual to wait til you're 16, my baby sister is 15 and she's started dating her first boyfriend. You have to have a first boyfriend at some age, but wait for a boy you trust enough to be sweet about being your first.
"Either get up the courage to do what needs to be done, or let him go. He sounds like he's ready for the dating scene and you are not. "
But you're worrying about nothing, ALEXA. Because life's like that - one RARELY gets to be ready...to do ANYTHING.
"you know your behaviour is very normal, u may think its weired but thats a normal behaviour when one is around a person whom they like."
Damn right. I felt EXACTLY like you just before I first got it on with now-husband. And I was a middle aged divorcee who'd kissed (yeah, and the other) LOADS of blokes before. I felt like a silly, highly nervous, coy and kack-handed schoolgirl. That, actually, TOLD me something in terms of the amazement that was to come.
"Like a vir-gin!....Touched for the very first tiiime..... Like a vir-ir-ir-ir..gin... When your heart beats, next to-oo mine". :-)
As Violetta said, guys LOVE IT when girls are shy and vulnerable. So be as inexperienced and nervous and downright blurty, stuttery-spluttery (or quiet) and red-faced as you like! In fact, turn it up if you want to! And definitely fess up: "Sorry - I fibbed about having kissed or been out with someone before. I do like you - a lot - but the truth is I feel painfully shy and nervous." He'll take it from there, no worries. Because, obviously, what with him trying to call in the troops to help him out (despite they're not very sophisticated about it), he's WELL into you with a capital W!
Alternatively, single out ONE of those troops - the one you believe to be the most sensitive but that *doesn't* fancy you for himself - to confide in about how you are keen but just overly shy. Better yet, make it two troops because that way, if one *does* fancy you for himself and therefore might want to scupper the budding relationship by colouring the report-back, chances are too high that the other won't thus will report back truthfully to boyfriend-to-be. They obviously LIKE being his messenger so - go for it! :-)
The best thing for you to do is one of the following, probably.
1. Straight out tell him how you feel. If he cares about you, he might be fine with dating you without kissing, hand holding, and all that other stuff. If you tell him how you feel, he could very well take it slow with you.
2. Develop yourself and your relationships at your own pace. Take your time and mature yourself until you feel ready, and then consider dating people.
I wouldn't recommend further lying, as it can make things more complicated. For example, you saying that you've kissed someone before. That'll probably tell him that you've experienced it before. That said, it'd make him feel more comfortable to edge you to kiss him. (Especially if the thought process goes something like "She's kissed some other guy before, so why won't she kiss me? Does she not like me? ect.") Although it's hard, truth is always the best policy. Also, don't assume you'll give yourself away should you kiss him. The only ways you'd be an obvious 'newbie' is perhaps if you just shove your tongue in his mouth or if you just end up sitting there and not doing anything at all. (My advice would be to essentially just be to react to him.)
Well, I don't really have any more to say on that.
hey girl theres nothing wrong with not having a relationship before the age of 16. I was 18 before I had my first kiss. Its normal to be new to all this at one point. People go through different stages of life at different point. I think you should tell the guy that you like him and that you are new to the dating scene if hes as sweet as you say he will understand. Yall could date or just be friends but talk to him and yall could figure it out together. If yall decide to date maybe go on group dates to start with. Hope this helps.