I have been in a relationship with a man for quite awhile and have recently discovered that he privately watches porn while I am asleep in the next room. I am bothered by this as again, I am right in the next room, why doesn't he come utilize what is real? I have never said no to this man for sex at any time or any way that he might like to try. I am trying t understand why he needs this when he has the real thing anytime he wants it?
Magnum your problem is not an uncommon one, and I'm sorry this is something you have to deal with.
Unfortunately watching porn can be addictive in a way sex (although better) is not. Porn (not necessarily the person watching it) is selfish in that it is all about the person watching it, whereas sex is about you too.
You need to talk to him about it, no matter how uncomfortable it is, and tell him how it makes you feel. Try not to be negative or accusing, even in your tone, as this should help him explain why and you are more likely to understand. It may be that he needs professional help to quit (like a smoker). I hope this conversation goes well for you
this is from a guys point of view.
this guy obviously is addicted and porn can be you just need to let him do these things as he will constantly try at every point . maybe if possible you could watch one of the ones on his history and try to use the things he has been watching and perform it in bed if you understand what i mean. and maybe you could ask him for sex instead of him asking
let me know how it gos
Wow, this really hit home for me. I walked in on my bf setting up shop to get himself going while I was sitting out in the living room! He was like "baby I'm horny", yet we never have sex. I'm always willing, he is not. Anyway… I read feverishly after this happened and apparently a guy jerking off or watching porn has nothing to do with actual sex. Sex or not, they will still do it since they fantasize about unrealistic stuff and are so visual. I was married to someone addicted to porn. If your sex life is still good, then don't worry about it! It is better for him to watch porn than cheat to live out his fantasies. In my situation, I'm worried because we don't have sex.
"and try to use the things he has been watching and perform it in bed"
Righto. And, MAGNUM, just to keep it an equal rights relationship in terms of fairness, you can insist he watch Romance films and behave towards you exactly like the hero.