My now born again Christian partner
I have a baby with my long term partner, our child is now 18 months old. My partner had a bad drinking problem which spiralled and at his lowest he found God and is now born again. We have not lived together for 8 months due to his out of control binge drinking. He became born again 5 months ago which is fantastic for him as he is no longer walking dead and our child has a functioning dad. However, since he has given himself to Christ, it is all bible studies, ministry and Church. Even tho we have been together for 5 years and we have a child, he will longer be intimate with me unless I marry him. I also am not allowed to stay over his again unless I commit. I am not religious and am wanting to take my time getting to know the new him. He thinks I have him in limbo and although he will be patient, he doesn’t seem to understand my worries. He listens to Christian music now, will not watch mainstream TV and prays for my salvation every day. I feel on this occassion I should live with him (again) to see if I could cope with all the changes. As leaving my own house, getting married and then realising I’ve made a massive mistake is not something that can be undone simply. What are your thoughts please, I’m so confused. He says I don’t need to change but he sends me bible quotes and messages all the time even tho he knows I’m on the fence with the Lord. I don't want his to backslide either. What are your thoughts please ?
IMHO - He's changed one addiction to another.
Being a Christian I think I can give a little perspective, when someone first meets Christ and decides to give their life to him, their lives change for the better, your partner has been released from the hold drink had on him. New Christians want to share this this with their loved ones in the excitement of their experience, he'll realise you have to be allowed to make your own decision in time. I would suggest making a deal that if you go to his church with him one time, that he needs to give you space and not keep trying to convert you. It may also help to talk about your other issues which have arisen from his conversion with his church leader. Personally I think he is going a little too gung ho with the no tv etc and the leader may be able to give him some perspective with having been a Christian for a long time. I'm sorry that sex has become an issue, generally sex before marriage is seen as harmful, but since you were in a committed sexual relationship this isn't exactly a usual case. Hence my advice to talk to the leader. He does need to have patience with you though, a lots changed and you shouldn't be rushed into marrying him when he's moved the goal posts on you and not given you time to adjust or decide if you're okay with their new location! I hope this helps and that he chills put a bit for you, being a Christian should make life awesome, not stressful or he's doing it wrong ;)