Wife is thinking of leaving
I have been married for less then a year. We are both 30 years old. 5 months before our marriage I moved away from my bride to be for a job that was closer to her friends and family. She was a school teacher who wanted to finish the year. She fell in love with a coworker in the mean time. She slept with him prior to us getting married. She told me 3 days before our wedding. I loved her and she assured me the relationship was over. It obviously was not and she has since kept in "contact" with Him. And gone so far as to meet up with him on 2 different occasions. She has lied to me continuously but I have found out through her emails and phone traffic. I have confronted her many times and she wants to stop/forget but she hasn't been able to. Every time we seem to move forward she finds a reason to contact Him (bday, deployed he's in the air guard, Xmas, etc). She says she loves me but she also loves him. How is this possible?! She says he gave her things that NO ONE ever has? But there are things I give her He doesn't. I recently busted her talking to Him and planning to meet up with him again and I told her she had to leve until she figured out what she wanted. But I am still,in love with her. How long should I give her to figure it out? Should I even still be with her?
Frankly, what with her incapable of enduring a piddly 5 months as long-distance lovers without cheating on you, then going ahead and marrying you regardless, and now proving that that so-called reassurance and others was hot air BS, I'm surprised you haven't annulled the so-called marriage already.
I get that you would have been too much in shock to have collected yourself sufficiently to call off the wedding, but you don't have that excuse any more, do you.
Hasn't been able to stop/forget, my arse. What is she - five? IT'S CALLED, WANTING TO. More like, believes she can keep getting away with it. And why wouldn't she when on not ONE of these occasions has she had to deal with any negative consequences. Saying that, for most people, even THINKING about cheating would be anathema, let alone continuing after having been found out. "Oh, I DO want to stop, really I do"... Actions prove it's clearly utter BS, as is the obviously wholly encouraged illusion that there's been any 'moving forward' between you two since. Especially as you make it sound like she's the one doing all or at least her own share of contacting.
No, it's NOT possible, not where romantic-sexual love is concerned. She's just a weak, selfish, spoiled and over-entitled individual who doesn't want to commit yet neither can stand being on her own so literally straddles two 50%-in relationships. No proper investment, vulnerability or commitment. No risk of ending up single and alone if one of you bails out. No effing empathy for the abject agony she's been subjecting you to for a whole year and a half!!!
Should you even still be with her? Are you serious? I could understand that hopeful thinking if you and she had had kids together and/or had ever had any truly meaningful good times (and don't say you have because lurking behind all of them obviously laid this - ugh! - self-serving attitude just waiting to wave hello), but, mate, YOU HAVE NOTHING TO RECOUP!
Cut your losses now (including financially!!!) before it becomes even harder (and costlier), and seek an annulment. I'm talking urgently. She does not deserve a single penny in settlement and you don't deserve to lose more than you already have.
Or maybe you do? Because - Why is it you even had to ASK that last question?
. You are still young, maybe you were not ready to be married, Marriage is a commitment and something that should be respected. Seems like your wife wants both and that is not possible in a marriage. She has to decide which one. I hate to say this but, and it might hurt you, this woman might not be the best partner for you. Seems like she is not committed to just one .This is not right and should not be acceptable. She has to pick one of you or you leave her. This is not a good relationship.