My brother wants me to help him for 2nd time
Well to begin the story I will introduce myself: My name is Nia and I am 20.I immigrated on my own to a new country when I was 18(2 years from now).The reason for my immigration is that my homecountry is poor and doesn't provide the social help needed.
I had a lot of difficulties with the language at first,though managed to find myself a job and fully pay my rent and bills at the age of 18,making me independent from my family.
Later that year my brother told me he went broke and asked me to move with me and if i can find him a job.My brother doesn't speak the language of the country at all.I agreed and he moved living with me and some months later I found him a job.But he was expecting me to find him a job quicker and accused me for not helping him enough and not sparing enough from my time seeking him enployment.I can clearly say he has right here,I could have found him a job faster,but I was having a hard period,working 40 hours a week,stressed and lacking a private sphere(because of my brother living in my one-room-apartment).So,yes,indeed it took me some time to get on my feet and start searching an employer for him
One year after I saved some money,I decided to study.I moved to another town in the same country and ,God, was it pleased to move away from my brother(who after starting the job rented an apartment next to mine)
After me moving out my brother said he was not satisfied with the job I found him and quit!He doesn't have any money saved and doesn't speak the language!Now he asks me if he can move again with me so I can find him another job!I clearly don't want the same story again,but there is the pressure from my parents,who may think I am egoistic for not helping my 36 y.o. irresponsible brother
How should I deal with the situation?
Tell your 36 year old brother to find his own way. You have already helped him more than enough and given your age, you are to congratulated for your efforts to establish yourself in a foreign country...unlike your selfish, self centred and ungrateful excuse for a brother.
You have done enough for him, look out for yourself now and leave him to start looking out for him.
Agree! Your brother is a LEECH. And as for your parents? Well, they *would* try every trick in the book including resorting to that level of emotional blackmail, wouldn't they. Because they really don't want him to have to return back to THEM! Tough. They should have raised him to stand on his own two feet back when they had their chance to.
Your emigration wasn't JUST for economic reasons, was it. Well, I can't say I blame you.
How to deal with the situation? By doing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING. And if your parents try that trick again, I suggest your retort should be this: "Egotistical because I won't look after my twice-my-age brother like I'm his mum and dad combined and he a 10-year-old? Well, I think I can live with that, thanks."