Hi thanks for advice in advance. My husband can be the most loving, caring and supportive man I've met but at times can turn like Jekyll and Hyde and get very angry and agressive and has smashed several things in our house. I do go on about things to much which he says is the cause of his anger and says it's ot me who makes him angry. He has however had issues with anger at work a couple of times. I have been very unwell and he has stood by me and looked after me lots and always been supportive so it makes it very hard to leave. I can't have children but we would like to adopt of foster but I am worried about his anger. My parents have said however they think it's both of us at times but I know there have been times when I haven't done anything and he has flipped. What would other people do? I really am lost. He is so lovely but then turns into a monster and also uses verbal abuse. Thank you for your help x
Why would you want to subject any kids into your nightmare with your husband??! Why keep making excuses for his behavior.The fact that he's blaming YOU for HIS behavior is not good.Can't you see that? You need to get help for yourself to help you get out of this abusive relationship.Love yourself MORE then this abuser..
Thank you for your advice it helps me to know others think this is not acceptable. I'm scared of being alone I think and that my behaviour makes him this way so I fe responsible. I guess there are no excuses though?!
PURPLEKITTY is spot on: HE is the only one who is responsible for his anger. We all deal with things that upset us, but it's up to us to find non-destructive ways to blow off steam. It would not be a good environment for adoptive or foster children. Either he needs to commit to professional help or you need to move on. I know the prospect of being alone is scary, but you'll end up finding someone else that can treat you and your future kids with love and respect 100% of the time instead of part-time. Best of luck to you.