Am I being silly?
I am a women in my 30s and have chosen to remain single for a number of years. I recently began dating someone and everything is great except he rarely texts and never calls. At first I didn't call him because I didn't want to bug him but it has been nearly 3 months of us dating and seeing each other 3 or so times a week. In that time we have talked on the phone 2 or 3 times for less than 5 minutes. He always returns my texts but rarely initiates texting and his replies are typically short. Another thing that goes hand in hand with this that bothers me is that I almost always invite him to do things. He does make plans if I tell him to take me on a date but I have to tell him I want to be taken out. I have met all of his friends and he has met my family he did bring up the idea of a vacation abroad with me. He also has invited me to a wedding in a few months. He is very much an introvert and that is how this pattern was established to begin with. I know he cares and that on some level I am being insecure but should this bug me?
You sound like me before, I used to text and call someone I was seeing a lot, over analysing every daft wee detail, reading into things way too much, but 9/10 it just fizzled the relationship out at double speed. It wore me down after a few times of the same pattern, to the point I kept non direct contact to a minimum except obviously when meeting up and to be fair this worked much better in the long run.. your boyfriend sounds like me now..
This is only my previous experience, but advice wise I would say chill, if he's meeting you 3 times a week that should be plenty of proof he likes you. It sounds to me like you are looking for reassurance he likes you as much as you like him, but to the point that you are ignoring the obvious signs he does. Don't start imagining things that aren't there, or overthinking it.. you're supposed to enjoy it, not look into every minute detail and analyse it, you'll only annoy yourself and eventually make it into a huge issue when it isn't, then no doubt you'll feel a need to mention it to him, he may not see the problem and that'll set you off over thinking again and eventually it may cause major issues. I've done this myself.. it's similar to obsessive behaviour and that is never a good thing.
Try relax and look at the good signs, not making the small issues into huge ones.
That's terribly worded, but it's late and I should be asleep.. can I also ask you to ask yourself one thing.. how often do you think about this? If it's a lot, then this may also be the issue, you;ve been single a while and now you are seeing someone, you may now be making it too much of a priority and spending too much time focusing on it.. relationships are important, but so is everything else that was taking up your time before when you were single.. make space for a relationship, don;t just shove everything else out of the way for it.. if you catch my meaning.