I need some advice.
My friend has been in a relationship with a married man for a few years and recently informed me of breaking it off with him. She said she felt ok with it and gave many reasons as to why she called it quits, primarily to do with him controlling her. The split lasted a week, if that, and she never informed me it was back on (as she did when it was off), not that that is the issue. My concern is, all the reasons she expressed to me with regards to why she broke up she has now succumbed to, ie: she is now doing what she expressed she didn't want to do. She's always expressed she never wants to be controlled in a relationship again but unfortunately all I can see is that she is being controlled.
It's her life and her journey, however, am I a good friend if i sit back and stay quiet or should I say something? And if so what? I do not want to risk losing our friendship but, in my opinion, affairs are built around secrecy and I feel my friend is losing perspective as she only confides in this married man due to the feeling of shame of being in this position but all this does is empower him even more. Catch 22!
You only have her side of the story. Plus it sounds like whenever she tells the worst of it, it's always right on the back of a row or split, meaning, I'm sure she exaggerates as she paints him black. Because the fact of the matter is this: if someone insists on doing something over and over, they must be getting more out of it than not - FACT.
There again, how nice a person is SHE if she would knowingly be aiding and abetting the ruination of a family?
There's no Catch 22 here, though, because she could just get OUT of that marriage and find herself a man who's single and available. Nobody said doing the right thing wasn't ever short-term painful for the benefit of long-term gain.
If you want to say something then do. It's not much of a friendship if you can't speak your mind, is it?