I think I scared my girl off what can I do!!!
Hey guys, Zac 19yo from Qsl. I think i scared my girl off :( We haven't been dating or anything, we've known each other for around 3 months, and only started to get flirty on the last month. We met via a mutual friend on facebook, met up in town shortly after (She was with her friends). After that we met up a few weeks later in town again (no friends this time). The next encounter was when I had asked her out to lunch, She agreed. I took her out for a nice lunch, and we came back to my place. One thing let to another and we had sex. Afterwards we chilled and watched movies so it wasn't awkward or anything. A week and a bit later it was Valentines day. I bought her a nice $50 perfume. I hadn't seen her since that awesome third date. She had a family thing on valentines day and couldn't get out of it, and so I didn't get a chance to see her. Anyway, the following day I still had the gift, and I wanted to drop it off and make her smile. I drove to her house in the late afternoon, and got out to give the gift
THIS IS WHERE I STUFFED UP
When I got there, I went on facebook and started spamming Rebeka "Oi!!". I don't know why I felt the need to spam, but I did anyway. I Don't usually do it. After spamming about 10 messages on her phone, I then proceeded to call her number. I called 4 times but no reply. I figured she was either sleeping, out or ignoring me. So i left my gift on the floor, and went to go home. I sent her a text like this 10 minutes after I left on the drive home: "idk if you're ignoring me or sleeping or what :') But since you were at your aunties yesterday, I couldn't get to see you and give you this gift I got :) Anyway, it's at the front of your house on the table, enjoy xx "
I got a reply an hour later saying: "Oh wooooow, im so so sorry I was shopping with my cousin!, you really shouldn't have done that for me :o!!"
I replied "Its fine hahahaha, no way of course I do ;)"
And I haven't heard since. No reply, and she hasn't even looked at my facebook message, still unseen. Looking back on it now I believe i came across as clingy and creepy, which was not what I wanted. I've never done something like this before. I just wanted to do something nice and make my crush feel special.
Anyway. I don't know what to do. She hasn't even sent me a thankyou, or anything else in regards to the gift. It's been 16 hours. We were fine up until the point i dropped it off, talked all the time, and with the last date when I took her on I thought everything was going really well. I want to start the convosation with her again to see what's up but I'm scared i'll come across more creepy than what I already made myself to look. I would appreciate any advice, feedback and what not, please.
WHY hadn't you seen her since that "awesome" date? It was entirely up to you as the Chaser-Wooer, so... How "awesome" can it really have been that you didn't immediately follow it up with another date invitation?
And why didn't you just ring the front doorbell?
Is it because you sensed that because you hadn't made a rapid enough move off the back of that awesome date, thereby leaving the impression that you weren't really that into her, she was bound to have emotionally struck you off as an option and moved on?... as the tone and hinted meaning of her response (translation: what makes you think you're my boyfriend?) suggests?
So, no, you didn't come over as clingy. You came over NOT CLINGY ENOUGH. Until it was too late, of course.
You'll have to start all over again. (For a start, your last communique was a statement as posed as a full stop to the conversation, instead of a leading question.) And this time cease trying to play it so cool. The very acts of trying to protect yourself against rejection and injury are the very things that - as you now see - GUARANTEE it. Put another way: "Feint heart never won fair maiden".
Suggest you PHONE her (no hiding behind cowardly texting) and ask her if she's worn the perfume yet and whether she likes it, as a conversation starter, and then invite her out again in the next few days. There's probably still hope because, regardless of her message content, actions speak louder and her action was - SHE RESPONDED! She could have simply ignored your messages and the act of the gift (think about it).