Fiance Broke Up, But Is Giving Another Chance? Please help.
My fiancé ended things with me two nights ago. I love him more than anything and we had such a strong connection. Unfortunately, my issues were too much for him to handle. I can be very anxious, insecure, and I need a lot of constant reassurance. I asked him to give me a second chance and to let me work on myself and prove that I can change things and make our relationship healthier, and he said " That's what this is. A second chance." We are remaining exclusive, not seeing anyone else, and we are keeping the rings as a reminder of what we are doing. I am heartbroken right now because at the moment, we are done, but is there hope that we can make things work? He said that he will contact me when he is ready and we can see if things will work. I need help. Is there hope that I can improve myself and start over a relationship with him? I need advice.
Ask him straight out what is going on. With him, or not? Try and find out what he wants, and then if he doesn't want you, well, there are millions of fish in the sea. Good luck!
Why are you insecure? It would help to know this. If anything OTHER than your fiancé is the reason for your insecurities, then you MUST let go and move forward positively in your relationship. Take time to think of all of the sweet compliments and darling things he has said to you over the course of your relationship and START believing them! He asked you to marry him, didn't he? So he loved you for who you are and he obviously did not feel any insecurities about you. So, he HATES (and we know he does because he left) you feeling insecure about yourself because he see's it as unwarranted and unnecessary. So when someone is constantly feeling negative about themselves for no reason, it is highly annoying and men do not like that!
Why are you anxious? Do you have anxiety? Have you seen a doctor? You should. There is help for that and it could save your relationship.
The reassurance issues go hand in hand with your insecurity issues. I personally am a person that loves for my man to reassure me of his feelings, but if he doesn't, I do not feel insecure about it because I always know how much he loves me. I just love hearing him say sweet things! Once you work out your insecurities, you won't feel the need to have constant reassurance anymore.
My advice is to give him a couple of weeks of space. Do not call. He needs time to miss you and realize if he can really go on without you. If you call him and talk about everything, you are just going to remind him of why he left. So, do not call. In the meantime, please see a doctor asap and tell him/her that you are very anxious and have major insecurity issues and that you need help. Your doctor will determine what the best course of action is to get you back in a healthy state of mind. Once your fiancé is ready to talk, he will notice a calmer side of you who seems comfortable. He should also miss you by then and will be wondering why you didn't call. Tell him the truth...that you wanted to give him time to think and that you even saw a doctor in hopes of mending the relationship because you love him so much. At least that is what I would do.
Insecurity is like an axe to any relationship. Trust is the strongest root. Don't worry, you will get back together. He is just bugged with your behavior with him. To prevent a next time, keep telling yourself this daily as frequently as possible "I'll let go of him and trust him. He is free to fly about as much as he requires." Control your urge to keep checking him. Let him open out to you at his time. When someone is after you, you feel like running away. When you give them their space and freedom, they will always want to come back to you. It is not an easy path but not impossible either. For the sake of love you can do it!