Just found out that she is pregnant
I just found out tonight that a girl I hooked up with is pregnant from me. We never dated, we never even had anything serious. We hooked up twice and then we went our separate ways. She told me today that she is pregnant. I do not know what to do. I just recently started dating a girl that truly makes me happy. I haven't been this happy in a long time and now I feel this just messes everything up. I did ask about an abortion but that is not an option. She told me that I do not need to be there for her or the kid and that she will raise it. She doesn't want my money or anything. I don't know who to talk to or who to tell. I'm at a lost for all words and can't believe this is happening. I am 23 years old but definitely did not want a kid at this point and on top of that I have no feelings for this girl at all. I do not know what to do.... Help please!
First you need to order a paternity test because there is no need in worrying until you know for sure.
If you are not the father, then no need to worry or ever bring it up.
If you are indeed the father, then man up and take responsibility for your child. Whether you have feelings for your child's mother or not, you do not leave a woman to take care of a baby alone. You do not abandon your child and leave him or her fatherless in this world. What is wrong with you?
While it is better for baby to have two parents who are in love and committed to one another, not liking her is no excuse for leaving a precious innocent being that is HALF of you with no dad. Did you have both parents growing up? If so, imagine how different and heartbreaking it would have been without that. If not, then you should know better than to put your child through the same. Support your child and be involved in his life like a real man does for his children.
This is very touchy for me and I am really glad that I happen to be around to see this post and hopefully have an impact on your decision. When I was 17 years old, I had a baby boy. His father was 20 years old and sounded just like you did in this post. The difference is that he and I were in a one year relationship when it happened. I thought I really loved him and that he loved me. When we got pregnant accidentally, I thought he would do what needed to be done, which is to face it head on, because we couldn't change it. My parents would not allow an abortion and frankly, I knew better than to even ask them. I was raised knowing their stance on that. He and I were both scared. My dream was to go to college with my friends and succeed in life. I was a honor roll student, an athlete, a member of various charitable clubs. I had a bright future and was not the type of girl anyone would have thought to get pregnant at that age. Nor did I. But I felt I had no choice but to embrace it. Well he did not feel the same. He abandoned me completely. Wanted nothing further to do with me because he was not ready to make any sacrifices in his world of fun and freedom. I was left as an eighteen year old girl on my own, in a little apartment, working as many hours as I could as a waitress to take care of my son, pay my bills, and be a responsible adult who could provide what is needed to take care of a baby. Formula, diapers, and babysitter fees were a big struggle for me along with everything else. It was HARD! NO help. Nobody to share the adorable "firsts". Just me and my little baby boy. My parents were around but did not help me other than babysitting occasionally. As my son got older, he wanted to know why he didn't have a dad. Teachers in schools do not realize their mistake in saying "Class, go home and ask your dad to help you with your project" and my son would always wonder if he was the only one there with no dad. Then he became curious about who his dad was and where he was, and what he was doing now. As he further matured, he'd make comments like "I would never want to see my dad because he didn't care enough about me to be around". Then one day, he got punched in the eye from a bully at school and don't you know my son expressed his anger at his absent father for this? He said "If I had a dad to teach me how to fight, this would of never happened!". There have been many heartbreaking moments in his 12 years. Not to mention how hard it is on the mother to take all responsibility alone. I have saved for his college, funded all of his sports, school clothes and supplies, food, birthday and Christmas gifts, shoes and coats, parties and vacations, books and computers. Everything he needed, I did alone. How would you like it if she proposed YOU keeping the baby by YOURSELF with no help? The shoe doesn't fit on the other foot does it? Do you really want to be the reason another child has to grow up with no father and become another statistic?
Please understand that YOUR little baby boy or baby girl will be your pride and joy instantly should you give them the blessing of being in their life. And know that you too will be receiving the blessing of him or her being in yours!
As for your new relationship, just be honest. It happened before you started dating this girl, right? So if she really loves you, she will find a way to understand and support you through this.
"She doesn't want my money or anything."
Did you ask her WHAT she wants or needs from you?
She is not sure what she is going to do but she plans on moving back to her hometown. If this is the case I am unable to move because I am still in school, nor will I move there anyways. If she does in fact move what am I suppose to do?
You should still offer support and try to be involved with the baby, even if it is one weekend per month. If she does not accept, you can still send her money orders to help her and just do what you can. As I said, man up and accept responsibility. She did not do this alone. God doesn't give us more than he thinks we can handle and there is always a greater plan ahead.