In love with my boyfriend's older brother
I have a boyfriend and we have been together for nearly 2 Years now.
I think he is really sweet and I love spending time with him. There is no doubt that I love him but in the past few
months, I've begun to notice his older brother.
The brother is 5 Years older than me, and I'm pretty sure I'm in love with him.
I can't stop thinking about him, and even when I'm with my boyfriend I'm thinking about him and imagining us together.
I just don't know what to do, because I can't stop obsessing about him.
I really want to tell him about my feelings, but at the same time I don't want to ruin my relationship with my boyfriend.
And if I were to tell him about my feelings, how would I do it?
I hope that you can help me out!
You don't need help trying to figure out how to tell the brother your feelings while maintaining your relationship with your boyfriend. YOU need help trying to get these feelings OUT of your head. No matter what you do, OTHER than putting these feelings away and NEVER bringing them back, problems will come of this. Unless you are living in some kind of trashy society that accepts this type of behavior, there will be more harm than good.
First of all, what makes you think his brother would even acknowledge you in any other way than his lil bro's girlfriend? If he is a decent human being, he will think you are disgusting for this and most likely tell your boyfriend who will in turn leave you and then you'll have no relationship at all, which looks like it may be the right thing for you anyway. I really don't mean to be mean, just being truthful. You clearly don't love your boyfriend unconditionally to be having these feelings for HIS BROTHER!
Secondly, EVEN if he DID like you and the two of you ended up together, you will cause the two brothers a lifetime of resentment and hate from each other, especially on lil bro's side. Also, it will cause the entire family and your social circles to rethink the type of people you are. It could be very damaging to you in many ways.
Get older brother OUT of your head and try to not put yourself around him until you have accomplished that. Good luck!
You can't keep the cake and have it too. If you want to try speaking to the elder one, you will have to first break up with the younger one. Give sufficient time to him to overcome his feelings for you and only then try talking to the elder one. Else it is going to end in a complete mess. Even if you talk to the elder one, depending on his nature and bonding with his brother, he may or may not like you speaking that way.
I agree with Jocelyn707. Sometimes talking about these things can be the best medicine. MTV is actually doing a True Life show about this now. Casting announcement is here http://remotecontrol.mtv.com/casting-calls/true-life-casting-calls/
Maybe if others see how you deal with this situation, they will learn how to work out their own problems. Worth a try. Best of luck to you!