Hi. I'm 20 and have been with my girlfriend,21, for 3 1/2 years. We met each other through someone else in circumstances that are not usual where the guy told me she was his girlfriend but because she was beautiful I didn't believe him so I found out for myself. Turns out it wasn't true and 6months down the line we got back in contact and started talking. Every night we would talk for hours until I had to go sleep for work and all day we would exchange texts until everyday after work I would go to her house and see her for hours. We loved each other so much and still do. About on this in she found out I had been talking to girls on my phone. I was stupid I didn't stop doing it when me and her got together. After she told me she'll take me back if I prove that I am committed I deleted all the girls of my home and Facebook. After a couple months we were fine again it was great. Only the normal arguments very couple has. But more recently she found out I wasting it again. I have no idea why I act so stupid when she is so great and would never do anything to hurt me. I know I have low self confidence and like attention because it makes me feel like I have self worth but I still have no answer to why I do this. I flirt with girls on my phone and exchange pictures. I love my girlfriend and care for her so much. She doesn't want to take me back because she says I won't change but I can and want to I just don't know how. She wants me to prove that when she goes out I am not on my phone talking to girls or doing things wrong but again I don't know how to prove it. I love her and never want to lose her!! Can you please help me save my relationship and change myself so I can be the boyfriend she deserves!!! Thank you
If people knew how to tell other people who are prone to cheating NOT to cheat, then NOBODY would ever cheat!
The only thing you can do is work on your own will power and self confidence.
Once you get your head beyond the desire to achieve instant and brief gratification from other girls and realize that it isn't worth losing the person that you love over, you MIGHT have another chance with her if you can do that. And it will take time to prove it. Not going to happen overnight. Delete all of the girls you have flirted with on FB and on your phone. If they message you, just don't respond. Responding only creates a conversation and the next thing you know, you are being tempted again. STOP.
Therapy my lovely... until you find out the root cause for what is causing your lack of self esteem you will keep seeking out attention from anybody who will give it to you.
Discuss this with your girlfriend inform her that it is not the girls themselves but the attention that boosts your self esteem that is lacking on your part... request if she would be willing to join you in therapy to be able to offer outside insight on your issue and to work on things together